Whatever happened to... etiquette?! My loving rant on lame manners in business.

“Um, excuse me… did you take my dinner plate?”

I was attending a huge banquet at the end of an industry conference.

I’d been moments away from savoring my plate of broiled salmon and had stepped out into the hallway momentarily.

When I returned, I noticed my plate — my dinner! — was gone. Replaced with somebody else’s food.

Another woman seated at the table had taken my salmon. Swapped her plate with mine. And she knew goddamn well it was mine. She had asked my tablemate to switch our plates. There was no possible way that this was a “misunderstanding.”

I locked eyes with her, my blood boiling.

She looked down, embarrassed, mumbling an explanation.

“It had flour on it and I’m gluten-free….”

I couldn’t believe what she was telling me.

“So, you think it’s OK to just TAKE people’s stuff when they leave the room? That’s acceptable behavior in your world?”

She had no response.

Everyone at the table was stunned and silent.

After the banquet, I was furious for hours. At first, I couldn’t figure out why I felt so enraged. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a piece of fish. Not exactly a heinous crime.

But after some reflection, I realized the crux of the issue.

I wasn’t just mad at this woman for stealing my salmon.

I was upset because of what her behavior represented on a deeper level:

Total lack of regard for other people’s feelings, happiness, or comfort.

When I see that out in the world — lack of regard, lack of sensitivity, carelessness, selfishness — it pisses me off.

The “Fishgate” incident is just one example of this.

But in the business world? This shit is RAMPANT.

I am not Emily Post, nor am I the headmistress of a finishing school for ladies & gentleman, and I’ve certainly been guilty of the occasional “etiquette faux pas” in the past. But overall, I take a great deal of care to make sure that my clients, customers, and business colleagues feel deeply respected.

Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. And because I know, from experience, that good manners are good for business.

Pretty much everyone on the planet could use an etiquette tune up. Or at the very least, a few common sense reminders. Today? I’d like to deliver them.

Here are my…

Etiquette guidelines for business owners & service providers:

– Treat people with dignity and respect. All people. Always.

This includes:

The fourteen year old girl who loves your blog but can’t afford to hire you (yet!).

The forty year old single dad who looks up to you and is praying for a chance to pick your brain.

The repeat clients who love you to pieces and the people who say, “no, thanks” to your services.

Even bullies and meanies and weirdos. (People can transform and see the error of their ways — especially when faced with unconditional kindness. Gandhi would agree.)

Establish a reputation as someone who is gracious, considerate, unflappable in the face of criticism, and basically: a class fucking act.

– Respect people’s time.

Time is the most precious resource we’ve got. When your time is up? You are dead.

Treat people’s time with extraordinary care. You are, quite literally, “using up their life.” Make it count.

Honor appointments. Be prompt. Follow up. Follow through. Even when the answer is “no,” say it swiftly. Don’t leave people hanging.

– Don’t lie. Don’t steal. Don’t start wars.

Don’t lie about your age, experience or credentials. No phony pictures. (Catfishing is so gross…and wrong. Be YOU.)

Don’t take people’s salmon and don’t steal people’s ideas, ad copy, blog content, or business concepts either.

If you are “inspired” by someone’s work, awesome! Publicly acknowledge the influence they’ve had on you by thanking them on your website, in the “gratitude” section of your next book, out loud in the midst of a keynote speech, anywhere you possibly can.

Honor your teachers. Give regular shout outs to your homies and heroes.

And when someone tries to hurt, sabotage, or publicly shame you…just walk away.

Take the high road. Stooping down to their level and starting a feud will just make you look defensive and vengeful and usually? It’s a waste of your energy. Wash your hands. Walk away.

As Kahlil Gibran once wrote:

“The real test of good manners is to be able to put up with bad manners pleasantly.”

Or, to quote Tupac:

“Even though you’re fed up, ya got to keep your head up.”

We all need to do our part to create a classier world.

It starts with your very next meal, tweet, text or email.

Mind your manners. Lead by example.

Show people how business ought to be done.

Thank you for reading & thank you for keeping your hands off my freaking salmon.

Blessings!

Theresa

PS. This topic is firing me up, big time, so… I wrote an entire book about it! Introducing my latest guidebook: The Professional Mystic’s Guide to Business Etiquette.

If you run a mystical / metaphysical / spiritual / healing business and you want to charm your customers, win friends and allies, and magnetize sales, referrals and big opportunities by building an impeccable reputation… this super-practical guidebook is for you.

Get your digital copy here: The Professional Mystic’s Guide to Business Etiquette (Scroll all the way down, pardner.)

image from stock photography