What To Do When Your Partner Doesn't Want You To Get A Tarot Reading

Every so often, a client will contact me or come into the office under circumstances more befitting for Mata Hari. I’m talking major hush-hush cloak and dagger. The reason why: they have to keep it secret from their spouse, who has forbidden them to get a tarot reading.

While I sympathize with anyone who feels they have to sneak around, I am a bigger fan of honesty. Trust and open communication are necessary ingredients for a healthy relationship. And so is freedom. A relationship built on control or deceit is a relationship destined for some very unhappy times ahead.

So where is the middle ground? What do you do when you adore tarot and other mystical arts but it creeps your honey out?

Here are my thoughts:

Open up a dialogue about why. Listen carefully to their objections. There may be some valid reasons: religious beliefs, fear of getting scammed, ignorance, worry you’ll hear something negative about the relationship, or skepticism (if they are a skeptic, here is a post I wrote about how to deal with that). It’s important for you to hear them out and be respectful. (Note: some people don’t want their partners getting readings because they are afraid you’ll find out something they are hiding. That is a different kettle of fish altogether, and, if that is the energy present, you may need a skilled counselor to work through that issue, not a tarot reading.)

Let them know why you enjoy getting readings. If they see how much joy or guidance you get from your session, they may be willing to put their own reservations to the side. (Please note: when you are telling them your reasons why, do not go into convert mode – this is about honoring each other’s feelings, even if the viewpoints are different.)

Share informative articles about tarot. This may help them to see readings in a different (and maybe more positive) light.

Tape your reading and play it back to them. They might find that their fears are unfounded. (I’m a big fan of this method because sometimes hearing what is said alleviates a lot of doubt or fear.)

Invite them to sit in on the reading, provided they agree to be respectful. However, DO NOT force them to go along if they are not comfortable – or, worse yet, try to make them get a reading. A reluctant sitter is miserable and no doubt the reader will be too. (Note: I would rather cut up two pounds of onions and eat them raw with a side of rusty nails than read for an unwilling and hostile participant.)

Negotiate: “I loathe those hot dog eating contests that you enjoy so let’s agree that you do your thang and I do mine.” Relationships are all about give and take. Sometimes we just need to find a way to agree to respectfully disagree and compromise.

Other times, despite your best efforts, your partner may still refuse to budge. Your only alternative then is to refrain from seeing a reader, rebel outwardly, or sneak around (none of which are good solutions). If it gets to the stage where you have to hide your activities from your partner, it’s time to pause and contemplate the nature of your relationship.

In an ideal world, you would never have to “get permission” to visit a reader. But relationships are not always ideal and are often complicated. The issues may be deeper than your tarot reader can handle, and it may be time to book an appointment with a counselor instead.

“Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.” ~Leo Buscaglia

“Compromise is what binds people together. Compromise is sharing and conciliatory, it is loving and kind and unselfish.” ~ Ali Harris

Blessings,

Theresa

picture from stock photography