The Hit List - Where’s the fire? Part two.

I never skip a shower, no matter what. Doesn’t matter if I am short on time. My day can’t get started until I’m scrubbed clean.

Even a hot water heater on the fritz won’t stop me. Which is exactly what happened a few weeks back. I got in, turned on the water and screamed. I didn’t stay in there long but I managed to suds up and rinse off, teeth chattering as I stepped on to the bath mat and wrapped a giant purple towel around me. It might have been the single worst shower of my life save for that outdoor shower at some hippie camp I was at many years ago (don’t ask).

I hollered to my husband to check the pilot light. Not only was the pilot light out – but the button was broken into two pieces, which made it impossible to turn. Terrified that we might be leaking gas, I called the plumber, who graciously came out on a Sunday to make sure I wasn’t going to blow the house up. He repaired the button, got the pilot light lit and was on his way in less than thirty minutes.

If it weren’t for that broken button, hubby could have gotten that fire started. But me? Not so much.

I have an irrational fear of fire. I’ve written about this before. (Yes, here I am, much later STILL paralyzed by the damn pilot light!)

It might stem from my lack of Fire element in my astrology chart. Or it might simply be due to the fact that my mother instilled a neurotic phobia that left me unable to strike a match until I was 13 years old and my science teacher had to show me how. Sad but true.

Even now when I light a match, I hear her words: “you’re going to blow your head off!”

That phrase was uttered anytime I got expressed a desire for an Easy Bake Oven or a chemistry set, my two most coveted things. “Nope – you’ll blow your head off.”

Instead I got a dreaded baby doll, which she hoped would instill some sort of maternal girly instinct in me. (It didn’t. Those dolls got thrown into the closet.)

If I went near the stove, she’d shoo me away “you’re going to get burned” or if the pilot light was out she’d crouch down with a long match grumbling under her breath about “gas stoves being dangerous” and “blowing your head off.” Cleaning the oven also got a lecture about EasyOff causing gas ovens to blow up.

I have no idea why she felt the need for all this blowing things up talk. Did she think I was a budding pyromaniac? I’ll never know what was driving this but I do know one thing: I ended up being absolutely terrified of fire and explosions.

So much so that I would keep a small bag of clothing in the bottom of the closet and preferred to sleep by the window…just in case I needed to escape. That fear was so intense I couldn’t light a match until I hit puberty. And although I can light a match, I’m still too scared to mess with pilot lights. Instead, I look for some man to solve that problem. Ugh.

One of the other things that I have always been afraid of was pressure cookers because – you guessed it – mom told me that I would “blow my head off.” I wanted one because I’ve read about the benefits but still…I just couldn’t.

Until last week. I took a cooking class that featured pressure cooking, smokers, and sous vides. The pressure cooker we worked with was a fancy pants electric one with buttons and risotto settings! I explained my anxiety to the chef but she patiently showed me how to work this sucker…safely. I’m hear to say that nothing blew up.

So I bought one. Oh, and I got an EasyBake Oven for Christmas.

I haven’t used either one yet but I plan on making something happen soon. No science teacher or man needed. I’ve got this.

And so do you, my gentle readers. You may have fears too. Some of them may be real…others may belong to someone else, who unwittingly put them on you. Face those fears as well as you can. Get help if you need. That help might be a wise therapist, friend, spiritual advisor…or a cooking instructor. Let them help you work through that energy so you can live as bravely as possible. I know you can.

Signs of life.

Other stuff:

The fancy-schmancy pressure cooker I bought is called an Instant Pot. It’s supposed to cook risotto and other fine things. Cannot wait to test this sucker out!

This post will have you inspecting your earlobes: How to predict heart disease by looking at your earlobes.

Need help getting a goal completed? My friend, business coach Ellen Fondiler, may be just what you need. She just revamped her Go Get It offering for peeps who are stuck and ready to roll.

Struggling to understand the Court Cards? Liz Worth has 16 journal prompts to help you out.

Interesting: how ModCloth strayed from its feminist beginnings and ended up a Walmart property.

Also interesting: a girl was found living with monkeys.

From Andi Grace: Pennyroyal is Not a Hanger: Expanding our vision of reproductive justice.

I love seeing my friend Rhonda Reigel’s new shop, Intuitive Alchemy, getting some good press.

Wondering where the best brunch in America is? Here’s your list. My friend Brandon Weeks’ Hunnymilk made the list!

If you’re getting too many tarot readings and the like, you might be future tripping. Victoria Cox writes all about the 10 Signs You Might Be Future Tripping over at the Numinous.

Grateful for this lovely review of The Tarot Coloring Book from Diana Chin and this wonderful one from Sg Frindle! It’s such an honor when peers you respect give you a shout out like this. WOW.

I’m doing monthly tarot draws for Honeysuckle Magazine! Here’s my latest for April.

Must read: how climate change is devastating for refugees.

YES to this: Equal pay day isn’t a holiday. It’s a call to fight.

How to tell if you’re a narcissist.

Anticipation: Arya Stark and Co. Have All-New Wintry Looks for Season 7 of ‘Game of Thrones’.

I love artists: The Man Behind History’s Most Iconic Movie Posters, From Breakfast at Tiffany’s to James Bond.

Don’t forget to file your taxes this week! The New York Times offers its best advice for filing.

Great stuff from Christiana Gaudet: Magic with the Two of Wands: Strength, High Rank and Wealth Without Shame.

Cool new tarot book alert! Melissa Cynova’s Kitchen Table Tarot: Pull Up a Chair, Shuffle the Cards, and Let’s Talk Tarot is out TODAY!

And on Tuesday Colette Baron-Reid’s The Good Tarot is coming! WOOT!

This book is on my wish list: How to Be Your Own Genie: Manifesting the Magical Life You Were Born to Live. It’s coming in November!

I’m also excited about this adorable Animal Tarot Cards, which are dropping in October.

Looking to increase your spiritual connection? Raise Your Vibration by psychic Kyle Gray might be worth checking out.

Damn the food in this book looks amazing AF: Dinner – Changing the Game by Melissa Clark.

If you’re in Milwaukee, join me on Thursday April 13th from 6-9PM at The Waxwing for Tarot + Wine – a free workshop with mini-tarot lessons, book signings, nibbles ‘n wine! Imbibe, learn some tarot, mingle, get a copy of The Tarot Coloring Book signed by yours truly. Books will be available for purchase.

If you’re in New York, I’ve got two events for you! Check ’em out and get your RSVP in ASAP:

April 25 2017 7-8PM: OcCulture Talks: join me and Haley Houseman for an interactive discussion about working as a reader, the art of tarot, and tarot’s powerhouse renaissance in the past few years. Tickets are $10 advance, $15 at the door. RSVP here.

April 27 2017 6:30-8:30PM: Namaste Bookshop in New York City. Join me for a beginner’s workshop and book signing. $25. Register here.