When I was about nine years old, my parents received a set of furniture from my aunt. She purchased a new set and gave us the old one, which was superior to ours. Because she didn’t have children, it was in perfect condition. Needless to say, I was excited to finally have a decent couch to sit on. I told a few neighborhood children about our good fortune – and my parents got sore.
They didn’t want anyone to know we received hand-me-downs. I was supposed to lie. Needless to say, I got in big trouble for telling the truth.
This was not unusual. My parents routinely fibbed. It was no big deal. But it was a big deal to me. I would insist on the truth and get branded a “troublemaker” or a “tattletale.” For a young kid, this was pretty confusing. The truth was bad, but lies were good. Orwellian, eh?
When children grow up in a house like this, they become the same or go against the grain. You can guess which way I went. Other than the time I dressed up like the Easter Bunny and denied it, I practiced strict honesty with my children. To this day, they know they will always get the truth when they come to me. I broke the wheel.
However, a pattern emerged in my life, one that I still struggle with to this day. Someone is dishonest, I call them on it, and I’m the “bad guy.” If I warn others about this individual, I’m labeled a “gossip.” Sometimes, this happens because people get uncomfortable with the truth. Other times, the liar got to them first, and one thing I’ve learned: they are convincing. Which is why few change their ways.
About a decade ago, I had a brief working relationship with a pathological liar. I caught on pretty quickly and attempted to quietly extricate myself. Unfortunately, the situation blew up. When I confronted this person, they continued to lie, make excuses, and play victim. I burnt the bridge to a crisp.
But they had enablers who didn’t think it was a big deal because he “didn’t do anything to them.” So I burnt those bridges, too. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that liars will continue to lie if they are enabled and mollycoddled. Change is only possible through long-term therapy and consistent behavioral modification.
For the victims of liars, strict boundaries are necessary. You must also be willing to hold their feet to the fire. In other words: you must be the troublemaker. This is not easy, especially if the transgressor is a family member. Calling them out requires courage, but not calling them out only allows the behavior to continue.
Recently, that person I used to work with began showing up in my orbit in strange ways. They’re back but it looks like they might be attempting to go legit. I have my doubts because a few red flags remain. I’d actually be shocked if this leopard changed spots. I never expect much from pathological liars.
So I’ll continue telling the truth, even if it creates discomfort. Because I’d rather be a good troublemaker than a bad peacekeeper.
xo
Theresa
The book Truth and Consequences by Miriam Young had a major impact on me.
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When you’re self-employed, you gotta make lots of decisions every week. Astrology can help you make wiser choices—and choose the optimal dates for everything you need to do. Read The AstroBiz Digest and discover the connection between astrology and good business.
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What I’m Grateful For:
Truth. Nuff said.
Soundtrack for 4/12/25
A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds To Mars
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2025
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