The Hit List - The Silent Mother

If you think mothering small children is a rough job, wait until your kids are adults.

I assumed that once mine were done with high school, I’d be on easy street.

WRONGO.

Adult children have permission to say “back off” and you have no choice in the matter. You have to respect that and back the eff off. Try punishing them by telling them to go to their rooms at this stage and they will gladly do just that – because they live in different houses and will be more than happy to leave yours.

Learning how to shut my big fat interfering mouth was not a simple task (I still fail at this all the time). I have to consciously work to stop the “mommy knows best” thang and keep my advice and opinions to myself.

Back when they were little, that outspoken mom schtick worked well when they needed a badass to threaten a seven year old bully on their behalf. It was also welcomed when I talked my daughter out of joining the military (the US invaded Iraq a few months later and she was kissing the ground I walked on because her sorry ass would have been headed over there and she is not cut out for combat). Yeah, once upon a time…I was the “cool mom” who knew it all.

But now it’s a different story. They are living their lives the way they see fit (and my cat centered tarot way of life is more for suited for eye rolling in their hipster worldview). Which means I have very little say in anything they do.

So when my daughter decides to go off to Spain for a year, I have to keep my fears about it on silent. (For the record, my anxieties are rather foolish as she is pretty capable. I’m mostly paranoid that she might break a leg doing the Flamenco and I won’t be there to help her. I’m also secretly worried that she’ll meet some handsome Latin lover and never return home to me.)

And when my son is gung-ho on some gal, I get to sit back and say nada, even if my teeth are gritting. (I always thought I’d be the world’s coolest mother in law. NOT. My son does not bring girls around me because he said that I “ruin the vibe”. Yes, I’m one of those awful “no one is good enough for my baby boy” moms. Shoot me.)

I finally learned the lesson that all parents must one day learn: mind your own karma and let your children figure out their own paths. (You’d think I would have that mantra tattooed on my back since I certainly told my parents to get off of it so many times.)

As this mother’s day arrives, I’ll be eating ramen with my children and listening to their stories and plans. But the mouthful of noodles will be the only thing I’m opening my mouth for.

That’s me on the right with my two babies!

Other stuff:

The kidnapped girls in Nigeria story is harrowing. I cannot imagine what these young girls and their parents must be going through. Praying for safe returns soon.

The saddest goodbye: cartoonist Tony Husband’s cartoon detailing his father’s dementia will tear you up, big time.

Grammar Girl’s editing checklist is your new best writing friend.

If Game of Thrones was on Maury: OMG YES! My two faves in one!

Everyone on Game of Thrones is an Amateur Compared to Littlefinger. Oh how I loathe (yet admire) that man!

The Middle Finger Project gives you the right formula for writing a business apology. I goofed up twice this week with scheduling so this was timely.

Asking for help sucks. Bombchelle did it anyways. Love this woman and her work.

I blog a lot. Sara Von Bargen explains why you should too.

Ever go shopping while drunk? I haven’t. Looks like I was missing out on some fab finds like these: 21 Awesome Drunk Purchases Your Sober Self Would Thank You For Buying.

After yet another major plagiarism incident at The Tarot Lady hub, I got tough. Mashable has a list of 10 Sites to Detect Plagiarism. Use ’em and smoke out your copycats.

A college sexual assault guru stands up for the accused rapists. WTH? Yeah, blame the victims. Unreal.

I knew that Marilyn Manson had worked on a tarot deck but it never became a full deck. Bummer! What I didn’t know is that he had a reading from Alejandro Jodorowsky, one of my tarot idols! Check out this incredible post about Manson’s deck, tarot, and the meeting with Jodorowsky!

Loving this HELL YEAH t-shirt! It would go great with this adorable Gucci bag (Big mother’s day hint here, kiddos.)

What I’m Grateful For:

A full glass of wine

Seventy degrees, baby!

Artists

Ramen with my children

Unclogged sinks and furnaces that work

The wisdom to know when to zip it

Soundtrack for 5/10/14: “We Dem Boyz” by Wiz Khalifa – so stuck in my head this week! Addictive.