The Hit List - The Endora years

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When I was a young mother, I thought I’d be the coolest mother-in-law ever. I pictured family dinners spent laughing around the table. We’d all be buddies, hanging out and maybe, if I was lucky, I’d have grandkids to spoil rotten.

But that fantasy was a fantasy. Once my kids began dating in earnest, the real story became more like an episode of Bewitched.

Instead of being some Zen hippie artsy prototype, I’ve morphed into Endora, Samantha’s acid-tongued mother. All I need is the caftan and some red hair dye – the sarcasm is already perfected. (I’m also a bit Gladys Kravitz, the nosy neighbor who is always looking out the window but that’s another story.) This exchange is pretty much how it goes around here:

In my book, any guy who dates my daughter will always be a Derwood. It’s probably why she prefers to have long distance relationships. The poor blokes can avoid me that way. My son seems to be following suit since he revealed that I’m the “kiss of death” for his relationships – When your mother refers to your girlfriend as “her?” you know it’s going to get funky fast.

So what’s my bag? Where are these witchy ways coming from?

It’s because underneath all that sarcasm stuff is a woman who wants to deeply protect her children. I want so much for them! Especially with love. I want them to be loved, adored, and well cared for – with quality partners.

But guess what I’m learning in all of this? What I want may not be what they want. I’m not in charge of their lives or their loves. That is for them and them alone to decide.

My heart may be in the right place but my mouth ain’t. I’ve had to learn to zip it. This is not an easy feat for a Gemini mom who believes in open communication. I keep a glass of wine handy to keep that mouth busy. My kids don’t need to endure Endora.

Recently, my son broke up with a woman he was seeing for a few months. When he mentioned it, he asked me “did you think we’d make it?”

“Nope. I knew it would fail. She was hot and cold. Not relationship material.”

“Well why didn’t you say something?” he asked.

“Because that is for you to figure out and it’s none of my business.”

This is the magic secret for successful relationships with your adult children: restraint. Know when to shut your mouth and keep that nose wiggle to a minimum. My inner Endora is in check at the moment…kind of. We’ll see what happens when Derwood comes for a visit.

Proud mama moment: this is my son playing with the symphony.

Other stuff:

Loving this from Beth Maiden over at Autostraddle: Fool’s Journey: Same Card, Different Decks.

Jess Carlson nails it with this goody: 5 Tarot Secrets To Read Like a Badass.

Interesting: How Anyone Can Use Hypnosis to Become Unstuck.

How sweet: This Girl’s Viral Hair Tweet Inadvertently Reunited Her With Her Childhood Crush.

Kid Astronaut talks about being your own god over a tarot reading (and he’s using the Fountain Tarot!).

Cool: Fall in Love with Tarot this Summer – Classes, Retreats, Blogs, Spreads and Spells for 2017 from Sasha Graham.

Harper’s Bazaar has 12 Game of Thrones theories. (I cannot wait for next month!)

I want one: Rochelle from “The Craft” gave me a tarot reading.

Hear this: The perfect beach body is B.S.

How Wells Fargo’s cutthroat corporate culture drove bankers to fraud.

Andrea Scher has a course worth checking out: Capture Summer – iPhone photo course.

Truth: There is no justice in America for black people killed by cops.

Good stuff from The Tarot You Know: Friends, Freebies, and Frazzled. Sg Frindle lays it on the line – and gives me a nice mention!

Margaret Atwood On Cats, Comic Books & The Upcoming Graphic Novel Of ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’

Read this: Behind the Scenes of My “Perfect” Instagram Life, My Anxiety Was Killing Me.

Lenny Letter sits down with Maxine Waters, one of my favorite role models.

There is a Twin Peaks tarot deck? OMG! YES!

Amazon bought Whole Foods.

Looking forward to this new book from Jon Acuff: Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done.

Oooooh: Taste & Technique: Recipes to Elevate Your Home Cooking.

Looks delish: The Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook: A Seasonal Guide to Eating and Living Well.

On my list for sure: WTF is Tarot?: …& How Do I Do It? by Bakara Wintner.

This looks like a must-have: And Your Daughters Shall Prophesy: Stories From the Byways of American Women and Religion.

Another planner? Why not: Reality Is Wrong. Dreams Are For Real.-Project Planner: Start Your Goals Motivation & Success Project Planner (Project Planner Journal) (Volume 1)

From Vaughn Dabney: Finding One: Finding one’s self amidst societal norms, digital life, and pursuing goals.

Here’s where I’m heading next for The Tarot Coloring Book tour:

July 14 2017 6:30-8:30PM : New Renaissance Books in Portland. Beginner’s Tarot Workshop. If you’re tarot-curious, this two-hour workshop will give you the basics. Cost $20. Call 503-224-4929 for details.

August 4 – 6th 2017: The Omega Tarot Conference: Masters of the Tarot – Five Approaches to Reading the Cards. I’ll be co-teaching at this event with tarot legends Mary Greer, Rachel Pollack, Sasha Graham and Barbara Moore!

September 16 2017 10:45AM – 12:45PM: The Nutman in Hubertus, Wisconsin. Intuitive Tarot Reading. Join me for a two hour exploration in reading tarot – without a book. The Tarot Coloring Book will be available for purchase. Details coming soon.