The Hit List - It's so easy! NOT.

Every so often I will get emails that go something like this:

“I started reading tarot a few weeks ago and am totally into it! What’s the fastest way for me to get a tarot business started?”

“I took an online course and got certified. How soon can I make a good living doing this?”

“How quickly can I master tarot?”

And every so often, I see dream vultures promising instant mastery or a quick path to six figures…as a tarot reader. They see the need for speed and create a false illusion that it’s not only easy to read tarot but to master it – and then start a full time job or “other income stream.”

Here’s what I have to say to those notions:

Taking a four week course in tarot (or astrology) will not prepare you for what it means to actually do this as work. If you’re thinking that taking a course will prep you to do this work in only a few weeks, you are in for a rude awakening. It may look easy but it’s NOT.

Easy street is an illusion.

A month-long online course cannot prepare you for the things that you will deal with. It can’t. You need to be spending hours in the trenches, practicing, perfecting your craft before you can “master” it. The hard work and heavy lifting needs to be done first before you crown yourself master.

What works: taking your time to develop your skills. Working with many people to understand what it’s like to deal with the population and the various issues they may bring to your tarot/astrology table. Taking time to see how the cards and stars play out in your life and the lives of people you know or work with so you understand that it’s not black and white interpretations (you need to see the shades of grey). All of this.

To take a short course and hang your shingle out immediately or to treat this as just another “income stream” is doing a disservice to the people who will come to you (psst even if you get ‘certified’, it doesn’t mean shit without real world experience). It’s also an insult to those of us who take this work seriously, who put in the hours, who hang in the tarot/astrology trenches fixing the messes you make (yes, inexperienced readers make mistakes all the time – I did when I started reading 35 years ago). This is our craft, our livelihood – and not a random “income stream” that looks fun and easy.

What it takes to be a tarot professional: dedication, constant study, EXPERIENCE, compassion, a thick skin, boundaries with a capital B (from both clients and peers), unwavering passion, business smarts, constant practice, an open mind, the ability to detach from the outcome, a personality that doesn’t mind an unreliable income, financial management skills, consistency, reliability, and the ability to keep your mouth shut like a priest. THAT.

These are things you cannot learn from a four week course.

Which means: a course can get you started but without the heart, dedication, and commitment to practicing your face off, you will falter.

Learn tarot/astrology/Reiki/whatever but know this: you will need to keep learning if you wish to go pro or add this as “another income stream.”

If your intentions are to quickly “become” a pro with no actual time with your sleeves rolled up and hands dirty, you might become discouraged when you discover the reality. It’s hard work, yo. My goal isn’t to dissuade anyone. It’s to PREPARE YOU.

Ignore the ones who paint the unicorn stories of “easy money” and “only a few hours a week for six figures.” IGNORE THEM. They are dream vultures. (Psst…if you look carefully at their websites, you’ll see that most of the time they don’t even READ TAROT.) They are only interested in getting you to part with your money. That’s their business model. IGNORE THEM.

Instead, learn tarot through long time practitioners who have put the miles in. Let them guide you. Learn business from those who know business (like Racheal Cook – who isn’t a tarot person but is a total business badass and someone I respect 100%). Learn tarot business from long time pros who actually STILL READ THE DAMN CARDS (like Jenna Matlin and Ethony Tarot). Do that and you’ll be guided in the right direction.

Look, you don’t have to read for years and years before going pro (although it helps). Some people pick up on it quickly. But the haste to “go pro” and make six figures right off the bat is unrealistic.

Let’s use my son as an example: my son is a drummer. He started taking lessons when he was 12. He studied music in college and got his Masters. He practices EVERY DAY. He has played with bands all over the city and has also played with the symphony. He teaches at a high school and at a college. He has dedicated his life to his music. It’s his art, his craft. Now imagine me taking four weeks of drum lessons and considering myself a full time drummer. (If you knew me and my awful sense of rhythm and tone deafness, you’d be laughing by now.) This is what it feels like to us pros when someone takes a four week tarot class and thinks they have what it takes to go pro or to offer it as another “income stream.”

In conclusion: if you want to read tarot or do astrology or any other thing that feels cool, have at it. If you want to go pro, PLEASE DO (I always say there are not enough tarot readers). But have the good common sense to know that this is a REAL job with lots of challenges and treat it with respect instead of acting like it’s some “easy money income stream.”

The end.

Butterflies grow their wings by spending a lot of time in a dark, tight, confined space. It takes work to be this gorgeous.

Other stuff:

This is an excellent post from Matt Auryn: Survival Guide for the Tarot Pro.

I LOVED chatting with Beth Kempton on tarot, living intuitively, parenthood ‘n more. Listen in to our conversation here. (PS Beth is so cool!)

How to help Puerto Rico and Mexico.

Jessica Crispin went to the Mom’s March for America – and wrote about it.

This week, I made the most uh-may-zing treat: chocolate espresso pie bars.

Get Stuff Fixed In Your Building! 3 Steps That Really Work & Help Stop Gentrification.

I love this: 2 Viral Twitter Poets Are Rewriting The Book On Astrology.

The Marigold Tarot has a Kickstarter thing going on. Looks like a pretty cool deck!

Ready to take on 2018 like a champ? Check out The Tarot Lady’s Ultra-Deluxe Superfly Astrological Guide for 2018. It’s totally free!

The Atlas of Beauty showcases the diverse beauty of women all over the world.

There are over a million frozen embryos in the US. What do we do with them?

I’ve been on a Moroccan kick lately. Here are four easy Moroccan recipes.

If we had a clown delivery service in our town, you bet my daughter would be getting donuts delivered! Heh heh…

Design Sponge asks: Do artists and designers have an obligation to be political?

My favorite post of the week: Teachable Racial Moment: A Black History Lesson Behind “Son of a Bitch” by Honoree Fanonne Jeffers.

Love these fashion plates: The Incredibly Dressed ‘Lady Dandies’ of the Congo Are Here to Ruin You.

People often fear the Devil, Death, and the Tower more than any other card. In this 3 night course we will explore these powerhouse energies. What to do when you encounter them, how to work with them, and even how to harness their power! Join me, Andrew McGregor, and Camelia Elias for this online course: Sex, Death and Destruction with Tarot.

The 101 on different types of yoga.

Yup: traits that every empath may hide from you.

An interesting post about the death industry from someone who worked as a funeral director.

In case you needed to know: inside a two-day sex party at a nudist resort.

I’m excited to be featured in a new book by Alexandra Franzen: You’re Going to Survive: True stories about adversity, rejection, defeat, terrible bosses, online trolls, 1-star Yelp reviews, and other soul-crushing experiences―and how to get through it.

Want: F*ck, That’s Delicious: An Annotated Guide to Eating Well.

I love autobiographies: The Autobiography of Gucci Mane.

Join me for the last leg of The Tarot Coloring Book tour at these mighty fine Colorado locations:

October 12th 2017 at 7:30PM: Boulder Book Store in Boulder, Colorado. Join me for a short discussion on tarot + book signing! Books will be available for purchase.

October 13th 2017 6PM: Trunk Nouveau, Denver, Colorado. Join me for tricks ‘n treats ‘n a short talk on tarot + book signing! Books will be available for purchase.