The Hit List - Retrogrades are like bad exes

Ah, Mercury is direct after three weeks of astrological tomfoolery. Only two weeks prior, Venus did the same. This duo has made summer a hot mess in so many ways. Celebrity breakups, travel grossness, and plenty of tech headaches kept a whole lot of folks on their toes and counting down the days.

My final day of summer retrograde included an unexpected tax bill – and news about a friend passing. This felt like one final kick in the ass before the door got closed. I spent that night cursing the planets and drowning my sorrows in cheap boxed wine. Did it make me feel better? Yep. Even so, the bad stench of these retrogrades lingers on, like a dull hangover from a night of drinking…cheap boxed wine (for the record, I’ve never had a hangover, so this is only how I imagine that feels).

Or maybe they are more like unwanted exes who never seem to get the hint. They show up every so often in ill-fitting suits, forcing their way in the door even as you try to slam it shut. Once they’re in, you have no choice but to entertain them, even while they smash your knickknacks and steal your loose change.

Eventually, they leave, but now you’ve got to clean up the mess. You might vow to never fall for it again, but then they’re back. Because that is what annoying exes do – they refuse to read the writing on the wall.

So what’s the best way to deal?

Simple. Expect them like you would the icky former flame. Put your good china away and lock down your bank account. Let them think they’re wowing you with their stupid stories and knock-off shoes while you bide your time. Be patient.

Once they get off your couch and head for the door, be ready to bid them adieu in your best fake-friendly voice. Act like you really enjoyed the visit. Then, turn the lock, grab the cheap boxed wine (or whatever), and fuggetaboutit until the next time. Because one thing you can count on – retrogrades and clueless exes always return. Ugh.

Theresa

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Pre-order my new book before October 1st and get a special thank you gift: one ticket to attend a class called First Do No Harm: How to Deliver Sensitive Tarot Readings. Perfect for Tarot lovers of all levels, including beginners: The Cards You’re Dealt: How to Deal when Life Gets Real (A Tarot Guidebook).

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Hey tarot readers: do you have a child in your life who seems to be fascinated with your cards? Get them their very own tarot deck – Tarot For Kids: Tarot For Kids.

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Prefer to listen to your tarot lessons? Check this out: Tarot: No Questions Asked: Mastering the Art of Intuitive Reading is available as an audiobook.

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Get cosmic and tarot-fueled updates delivered to your phone, every day. Convenient, smart, and helpful. Sign up here.

Do you long to write a book about astrology, tarot, or some other metaphysical topic? I got you: The Metaphysical Author’s Confidential – a newsletter for mystical writers: The Metaphysical Author’s Confidential. Essays and lessons on writing, publishing, and marketing your magical book.

Classes and Events

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October 7, 2023: Tarot for Mediumship. Join me at the Boston Tea Room in Ferndale, Michigan, and learn how to use Tarot to receive messages from the dearly departed. Learn more here.

October 7, 2023: Ethics and Responsibilities for Professional Tarot Readers and Astrologers. In this workshop, we’ll discuss how to deliver ethical, responsible readings. Where: Boston Tea Room in Ferndale, Michigan. Learn more here.

October 13, 2023: Book signing at Free Spirit Crystals in Butler, Wisconsin. 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM. Come on down, say hi, get a copy of The Cards You’re Dealt signed, and check out the cool crystals in stock.

October 21st, 2023: Book signing at Aum Shanti in New York, NY. 12:00 PM – 2:00 PM. Meet me in the Big Apple and get your book signed. Yay!