The Hit List - Public Image Limitations

There was no privacy in my childhood home. Seven people crammed into a tiny house with one bathroom and no locks on the door meant nothing was sacred, and everything was up for grabs. My brothers had free reign to come into my room and destroy my belongings while my parents broke the lock on my diary to read my private thoughts—and then yelled at me because they didn’t like what I wrote.

At some point, when I became a teenager, my father put a little lock on my bedroom door. My sister and I finally had some privacy (although I stopped writing in my diary because my parents still read it). This was the first time I had a boundary.

Needless to say, this backdrop created a deep need to protect my space. Throw in my Scorpio Moon with a hefty dose of introversion, and you understand why I choose to live like a hermit most of the time. I value my peace and privacy.

So, it’s ironic that I am a public figure. (I still feel weird saying that, but it’s true – my work is out there.) Being an author and public figure means parts of my life are on display. I’m not mad about that. I’ve met some unique, lovely people through my work.

However, when you’re a public figure, sometimes your life feels like a room without a lock. Although the public is mostly wonderful, there are some folks who barge in with an agenda. They come to wreck things. Some feel entitled to access or an intimate friendship – and then get angry when you don’t want that. Others are determined to knock you off an imaginary pedestal. Although these types are the minority, they can ruin the experience, not just for the public figure but also for the folks who enjoy their work.

For example, I had to block someone who crossed the line recently and stirred up drama in my teaching space. This person displayed multiple red flags, but I still tried to give them the benefit of the doubt until I couldn’t. Situations like this make me want to crawl back into my little cave and bolt every door.

This wasn’t the first time I had to give someone the boot. Sadly, there have been a few instances in my career where I had to set a strict boundary. Although I’d like to think I won’t have to, you never know. People can be funny…and not in a good way.

It’s good to remind these types that public figures are not public restrooms where anyone can come in, trash the place, shit all over, and expect someone else to clean up the mess and welcome them back. It doesn’t work that way. Even if it appears as if the door has no locks, you don’t get to be a jerk.

If you’re in the public eye, you are entitled to a private life. You can be friendly, but you are not obligated to be friends with strangers. You should not ignore red flags or love bombs, which are excessive displays of affection or admiration that can be a warning signal of manipulative behavior. It’s perfectly fine for you to unplug, mute, delete, and block without explaining yourself. You deserve to feel safe, online and off. Remember, setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness but a powerful tool to protect yourself, your well-being, and the peace of your community.

Above all, do not let the poor behavior of the few impact your whole experience. You can limit your accessibility, but you never have to dull your shine.

xo,
Theresa

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Want to learn the tarot basics? Check out my upcoming Tarot For Beginners course! Coming October 2nd!