The Hit List - Not all who wander are lusting

My daughter and I are both restless types. We like to wander but it’s played out differently for us.

She has traipsed all over the world (she’s currently in the Bahamas). And while my travels have been plentiful, they’ve been limited to the States and Canada (I’ve been to almost every state). I’m terrified of going overseas so I remain a bit landlocked. She has no such fear.

My wanderlust was different when I was around her age. Heavy on the lust, I had a strong case of commitment-phobia and an eye for bad boy musician types. (Weirdly, the ones I seemed to attract wanted a commitment.) This caused me to leap into relationships without a second thought – and to coldly move on without looking back at the trail of broken hearts I left behind when it got too boring or started to stink. I was a love ‘em and leave ‘em type.

That all got cured when I hooked up with a hot long-haired musician/artist who didn’t seem to have a problem with my free-spirited ways. I didn’t feel trapped this time. So I stayed and it’s been almost thirty years. The urge to move on has sailed.

My daughter is more cautious with relationships. She’s not guided by wild lust – nor would she ever walk out on someone without a proper goodbye. It takes her a long time to trust. But when she does, she can commit fully. She’ll make some lucky guy a better wife than I ever could be.

It’s funny how we share the same blood, same genes, and similar ways of being. It’s also intriguing to me on how it works out – that similar wandering vibe but in a different form.

As I ponder that, I think about my own parents. I’m my father’s daughter, who was also unable to fully settle down until some wild oats were sowed. He didn’t marry until he was 48 years old. I was born when he was 50. I am in my 50’s now and I do not know how he handled four infants in quick succession at that stage of life. But I suppose he was finally ready. He was done wandering. Plus Mom, who was quite a bit younger than him, was good at the commitment thing. My daughter might get that from her.

I don’t have the answers on how this all plays out or why we do what we do. It might be the genes. It might be that life throws us opportunities to travel, love, marry or get our lust on, and we have to choose which ones we want to play with or commit to. Who knows? But I do know that my life – and my daughter’s – have been filled with adventures, both romantic and travel. I cannot wait to see where we head next. (My theory: she settles down and I gather the courage to cross the ocean.)

These pics are from my daughter’s various travels.

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