The Hit List - Negating Naysayers

You can’t do that.

Nice girls don’t lose their temper.

What will people think?

Who do you think you are?

That will never work.

Who will pay for that?

Ever hear one of those statements? I have.

Doubters and wet blankets can wield tremendous power. In some cases, all it takes is one sentence or a look on the face and suddenly your joy (or fantabulous exciting new plan) becomes moot. You shut your shizz down and play “safe” (pssst safe is never really safe).

Playing it small and living by other people’s standards (or fears) will eventually grind you down and eat at your soul like a brain-craving zombie. (Did I ever tell you that I am absolutely terrified of zombies? I cannot sit through any movie with ‘em because I am instantly reduced to a screaming, blithering idiot.)

If you find yourself pulling back your magicks and living by some Debbie Downer’s code of “how things should be”, it’s time to reboot your self before you lose yo’ self. And you need to begin this process by negating those naysayers.

Before I go on, let me get this out of the way: I’m a relentless optimist and also rebellious to the core. Therefore, oppression, negativity and authority don’t sit well with me. I visualize myself as a Pleasure Radical – out to enjoy my life as much as possible even if that means bucking convention and thumbing my nose at the more cautious types.

Here’s how I deal with those mojo bummers:

Listen with respect (I always give people the opportunity to plead their case, even if I think it’s weak sauce). Once they are done, thank them for their opinion and then drop it.
If someone is a known Negative Nelly, refrain from sharing your biz with them. Keep your secret sauce top secret around them.
Surround yourself with supportive and positive peeps who celebrate with you. Release the prophets of doom from your life.
Go ahead with your goals and succeed like a mofo. Don’t hold back. In fact, you should go bigger. Nothing shuts down a killjoy faster than seeing you live your life with vigor, success and enthusiasm.

And always remember this: no one can poop on your glitter without your permission. Tune the cynics out and go on wid you bad self, mama!

That is one happy kitty! TaoZen hogging the remote control.

Other stuff:

This depressing post about rampant racism in University of Alabama Sororities proves we still have a long way to go to combat that negativity.

Pace Smith turns compassion on its head and gives a perspective that is radical and right on in her post “Why I Hate Compassion”.

Paul Jarvis is writing a book. Help him get that sucka done with his Kickstarter compaign. (PS he’s very smart – I like the cut of his jib.)

Hilarious: Things real people don’t say about advertising

I am slightly obsessed about Fridtjof Nansen. This guy didn’t let any naysayer stop him from doing amazing things!

I really want a caftan. However, I am pretty tiny so I might drown in one. This draped caftan top from Twelfth St. by Cynthia Vincent might be a smarter alternative.

I’m also starting to think about getting a stylish new desk. This Jonathan Adler one is slick as all get out – but not sure if I can do white (I’m horribly sloppy).

What I’m Grateful For:

Being able to say no

Being able to say yes

Daily laughter

A good fitting pair of jeans

Nightly walks with my husband

Sticky notes

My beautiful partner in crime, Bri Saussy

Soundtrack for 9/14/13: Rise by Public Image Ltd. Cause sometimes it’s more authentic to own your anger: