The Hit List - My Disco, My Rules

This past week, I learned a jealous interloper had invaded my online safe space and started a whisper campaign. They were offended and triggered because I was talking about the importance of education for professional tarot readers. Although I’m a long-time tarot professional and author, I still take classes. I never want to be so arrogant as to assume I know it all.

Anyhow, they poured their vicious poison down a few folk’s throats and were able to convince them I was a problem. But, luckily, there were also more than one street smart types who knew a dangerous, shit-disturbing narcissist when they saw one – and clued me in.

While I was angry for a hot minute when I learned of this low-energy treachery, I quickly set up my boundaries and locked them out of my world. I also put restrictions on their minions so I can keep my online space safe for my followers.

My disco, my rules.

With so many of us online, it is only a matter of time before someone decides to fling their shitfetti in your disco. You do not have to accept this – and your followers deserve to have a calm zone where personal politics are not allowed to poison the punch.

Here are a few suggestions you may want to keep in mind if you’re hosting online communities and an unwanted troublemaker decides to take a dump on the disco round:

:: As soon as you learn of the problem, open up a conversation with the individual if it’s safe to do so. Find out what their issue is – and nip that in the bud. If they have valid concerns, listen. But if they are coming from a place of envy or have a dubious agenda, set your boundaries immediately.

:: If they cannot behave or if the treachery has harmed you, block them from every port. Do not give them the keys to your kingdom any longer. Bounce them and take away their club pass.

:: Some of these poisonous toads may take a swipe on the way out the door and they may even convince a few others to leave with them. Let it all go – and don’t be afraid to restrict access to their minions. They don’t need to come and go if they don’t like the way you run the show.

:: If people are having issues with each other and they want to bring that to your doorstep, encourage them to work it out amongst themselves. While you may need to break up a fight if it happens on your watch, sometimes these situations are truly none of your business – as long as they don’t interrupt the peace for everyone else.

:: Expect blowback when you boot someone. They will be angry or on a pity party – and they may “speak out” on how “unfair” you were. Ignore that noise. If they can’t take responsibility for what they’ve done, they can cry at their own party if they want to.

:: Do not be afraid to speak publicly about what went down. Your community probably already knows what’s happening because whisper campaigns gain steam behind the scenes. By publicly addressing the issue and letting them know what’s up going forward, you keep your people safe. Be transparent about the problem – and encourage folks to come to you if they have a problem.

:: Do not make exceptions, allow for bargaining, or any such thing. Once you’ve set that boundary, there is no going back and zero wiggle room. I have learned when you open the door and invite the vampire back in, you’ll eventually get bit again.

Your disco, your rules. PERIOD.

I’d also like to add: if you’re part of a community and you don’t like the vibe, be an adult about it and simply move on. Find a group that resonates with you rather than trying to ruin someone else’s party. Don’t be THAT person. Have some dignity and common sense.

Look, there are groups that I don’t like. I’m not a fan of football but you don’t see me hanging out in online football groups shitting on the people who run it. I simply avoid those groups. That’s what adults do. They mind their own business and are respectful to other people’s online spaces.

No one wants to be the tattooed beefed-up bouncer but if you want to continue to enjoy your online world with your friends and fans, you need a velvet rope. Not everyone deserves VIP treatment – and if they can’t behave, you’ve got to be ready to throw the trash out. Once you’ve done that, get back on your dance floor and boogie down!

Them’s the rules.

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