The Hit List - Just stop saying yes

The other day Gala Darling posted an image on her Instagram feed that said: “Just Stop Saying Yes To Shit You Hate.” I had to chuckle because I recently found myself regretting a yes. Without going into details, I had agreed to something that I instinctively knew was not right for me. Needless to say, it led to an experience so miserable I found myself fantasizing about pulling out my fingernails one by one.

This could have been avoided if I would have listened to my gut and said no.

So why did I do that? I don’t really have an answer except on some level I guess I fell into the trap of “being nice.” When the request was made, I didn’t want to come off as a bitch and then paid the price. Part of this comes from my upbringing. I grew up in an era where little girls were told to “be nice” and “don’t be bossy.” Those admonishments meant that I learned early on to swallow my feelings and say yes, even when I wanted to say no. I’ve gotten better over the years but it hasn’t been easy. This recent episode proved that I have a way to go with my no.

After this situation was all said and done, I was talking with my husband about ways I could prevent this cropping up again. As I fidgeted with “strategies,” he stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that I have agency. I can simply say no without an explanation…or an excuse. He’s right. I don’t have to “be nice.” It is my right to take a pass on anything that feels shitty. Got it. ON IT.

What about you? Do you say yes to shit you know you’re going to hate? Do you feel guilty when you don’t agree with someone else’s request? How can you stand in your power – and your no?

Fake spring.

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Events:

April 24-26, 2020: Readers Studio. I’m a main stage presenter at the annual Readers Studio Tarot Conference in New York, the biggest tarot conference in the world. Join me and other world-class instructors for a weekend of tarot goodness!

May 10-16, 2020: The Tuscany Tarot Intensive. Where: Italy! A full week of tarot immersion. Great food, killer lessons, awesome people – gorgeous location! One seat left! SALE! Use code LOVE300 and save $300! (Couples save $600.)

August 30, 2020: Brushes and Stars. Where: Oakland, California. A full-day of astrology and intuitive painting – and yummy food! Join me and Chris Zydel for a joyful, astrology-inspired intuitive painting experience.