The Hit List - When you’ve had a hard year and don’t feel the holiday spirit

2023 can suck it. I don’t know about you, but this year was ROUGH AF (all caps on purpose). I’ve had tough years before, but this one took the cake by the nads. Needless to say, I’m counting down the days until I can tell 2023 to kiss my grits!

While I’ve never been a holiday person, it’s been hard to get into the spirit this year. I’ve been too dragged to even care. I’m still sorting out some heavy trauma, and it’s pretty much eaten up my Christmas joy. This doesn’t mean I’m not celebrating. It just means I need to do the holidays differently because I’m all out of energy and effs to give.

If your 2023 was a hot chocolate mess with a side of garbage, you might feel less like ho-ho-ho and more like no-no-no. But what if you have family or little ones who are already donning their gay apparel and decking the halls? You certainly don’t want to Scrooge them out of all the festive stuff.

Here are a few thoughts/ideas for those of us who just can’t…but might have to:

Gifts: Consider making this a no-gift year. Our family decided the only gifts this year will be for the kids. This takes so much pressure off. Frankly, I don’t know why we didn’t do this years ago. I’ve also done the same with a few friends. I don’t want anyone feeling obligated – and I don’t want to be either.

Cards: If you’re a card sending type, that task may feel like one more burden. I hear ya. I’ve always sent holiday greetings. By this time, the cards are in the mail. Usually, I send out a sleighful. I’m taking a pass this year. I’ll send a few, but that’s it. I don’t have the bandwidth. If you’re low on energy, skip this. Most of those cards are thrown immediately in the garbage anyway.

Time off: Take time off for nothing at all. It will do you good. Normally, I work through this season. Not this year. I’m taking plenty of stuff off the calendar so I can rest. I need to recuperate.

Potluck: Do you get stuck cooking the holiday feast? That’s normally my role. While part of me loves fiddling in the kitchen, I am too overwhelmed this year. We’re doing a potluck.. I suggest you do the same if you’re not feeling it. Enlist everyone to bring a dish and this will take the pressure off. Don’t forget to ask for help with the clean-up.

No to events and gatherings: You don’t have to attend every event. Seriously. You CAN say no. For example, I have only two things on the calendar: breakfast with Santa and the grandbaby (tomorrow!) and dinner with the family on Christmas Day. That’s it. No running around, no hectic anything. Everything else is NOPE.

No explanations or apologies: Why do we feel like apologizing or explaining ourselves when we are not in the spirit? I guess we don’t want to be “that person.” But this year, I don’t give a rat’s booty what anyone thinks. Frankly, they should worry about their own mistletoe. Do not make excuses or apologies if you bow out of an event – or altogether. You don’t owe anyone anything.

Seek help: If you’re really down in the dumps this year, please seek support. 7 Cups offers free chat services and affordable online therapy. Crisis Text Line is another option: https://www.crisistextline.org/ Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer Crisis Counselor. Do not suffer in silence.

My mother loved the holidays. Big shindigs were her thing. It’s hard to break this habit when it’s been ingrained in your bones, but after this year, I am doing the bare minimum. Maybe, just maybe, this will be my new tradition. However, if 2024 is fabulous, I might sing a different carol then.

Theresa

Other stuff:

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The perfect thing to level up your holiday spirit: Sign up here.

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