The Hit List: Gone girlie

You know the news ain’t good when you get the Facebook message from the husband you’ve never met that says “please call me.”

In fact, you know that you’re probably going to hear something that you don’t want to hear.

That’s what happened this week. One of my friends from back in the day, someone who I felt an instant kinship with the first time I laid eyes on her, passed away. She was gone a few months ago but her husband didn’t know how to reach me. He couldn’t remember my last name. All he knew was that I was into tarot cards and all that “mystical” stuff that he didn’t believe in.

But he figured it out quickly when he received my yearly Christmas card and was able to surmise from what I wrote inside that I didn’t know she was gone.

I knew she had some health problems but didn’t realize how serious it was. We didn’t talk that often because I’m not phone person. Plus, this last year I was so busy with my book that we didn’t have much time to connect online either. At least that is what I thought. But the truth is, she was too sick and not up for posting much.

I noticed her absence on Facebook and wondered if she left. People often do that for various reasons. So I wrote in that card “are you okay?”

I truly had no idea.

I knew this phone call wasn’t going to be good news. I braced myself and dialed but I still wasn’t ready.

“She passed away in April.”

She was gone.

The Wilma to my Betty. My Girlie girl, the sweetest cat-loving friend you’d ever meet.

My Girlie was gone. Gone, Girlie gone.

We shared memories and talking about what a good woman she was. I told him how much she loved him and that he was the only man good enough for my girlie. He was the only man she ever trusted.

Now she’s gone and he’s having trouble moving on.

And me…I’m still in shock. And feeling guilty for being too damn busy to not notice until months later that she was missing.

She’s gone.

This is the thing that sucks about getting older. It’s the very thing my father warned me about. Everyone begins to get sick or die.

In the last few years, I lost both of my parents. My children’s father. My dear friend Dave. A few friends are currently battling cancer.

Now Girlie.

This just seems so unfair. This life…so fleeting.

As I move through the grief of this loss, all I can do is vow to make the most of what time I have left. I need to stop being so busy that I don’t notice what’s happening around me. I have no idea how long I have. But I will do my best to slow the heck down, be more present in each moment, savoring what is left of my time here.

That’s what Girlie would want.

Winter came.

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