The Hit List - Friend Zones

Online friendships are curious things. They can be quite good. Some of my best friends in the world started out as internet buddies.

But they can be strange and sometimes a tad dangerous.

You never know who you’re talking to behind that screen. It might be that cool gray-haired tarot lady…or it might be some freak with ill intent. You just don’t know.

Back when I first landed on Facebook, I would often accept friend requests from people I didn’t know. Hey, if every tarot person was chatting with that dude, surely he must be awesome, right?

WRONG.

I’ve learned the hard way that some times people aren’t who they say they are. Other times, they are…but that “real” self might happen to be a jerk face meanie.

It can be a bewildering place for a sensitive introvert.

I no longer wonder why these people do what they do. Frankly, I can’t be bothered to try and wrap my skull around rude folks or liars. All I can assume is that there is something missing in their lives that makes the lure of being an internet asshole such a thrill.

It reminds me of my days as a bartender and club kid. Back then, the bouncers worked hard to keep the idiots and troublemakers out. They had a nose for bullshit and the velvet rope would be closed off to a whole throng of people. The bouncers didn’t care if you “knew somebody” – if you weren’t cool, you didn’t get in.

I was always nice to the bouncers plus I made sure to show up in hot pants and thigh high patent leather boots, so I never had to wait in line. Being nice – and having good boots does make a difference.

In order to feel safer online, we might all need virtual bouncers to keep the riffraff out of our worlds. Ginormous boundaries and velvet ropes that create safe friend zones are wise ways to protect your self. Because we deserve to feel free from harm in the world wide web too.

For me, that means a big fat no to all “friend requests” unless I meet them in person. I need to see your face and know you’re not a schmuck.

I also filter my content thoroughly to make sure only the coolest of the cool sees the daily grind – and to ensure I don’t have to see any sort of douchey stuff that riles me up. That habit started after the last election when a particular member of the family started posting bigoted things on his feed. Sometimes you gotta love people with a lot of fences.

I’ve also toyed with the idea of cleaning out my entire list to make sure only nice people remain. Because, yes, a few rude folk still managed to get in somehow. Hey, that happens even at the clubs with the tightest security. Sometimes they don’t show their true colors until you get a couple of drinks in ‘em.

What about you? Is your virtual club a free-for-all or a tightly guarded VIP-only joint? Who gets in and who gets bounced? More importantly, do they need hot pants and thigh high boots to enter? 😉

We met this new friend on the plane. She slept on my husband’s leg the entire flight.

Other stuff:

Why I’m saying goodby to toxic friendships.

Silly fun: here’s the kind of jerk you’re attracted to based on your sign.

Listen in: The Queer Body Love Series.

“I love New York” will never die.

Progress: in these states you don’t need a doctor to prescribe you the pill.

Good question: can US festivals really live up to their ‘post-racial’ promise?

Interesting: the debate over Hillary Clinton’s astrology chart.

Work it, girl: A day in the life of the first female NFL official.

I love reading about other people’s schedules. How I Get It Done: Christene Barberich, Global Editor-in-Chief and Co-Founder of Refinery29.

Good to know: the 7 best sunscreens according to dermatologists.

A must read: One woman’s slide from middle class to Medicaid.

I love this thoughtful post about the Knights from Beth Maiden.

Goop interviews Robert Howell: Does the Illuminati still exist?

Making pasta is next on my to-learn list. Looks like I need a copy of Back Pocket Pasta.

Join me next week at New Renaissance Books in Portland for a Beginner’s Tarot Class. I’ll be signing copies of The Tarot Coloring Book too!

There are still a few seats left for Masters of Tarot – a weekend workshop with Mary K. Greer, Rachel Pollack, Barbara Moore, Sasha Graham and yours truly. Come join us at Omega – and learn some tarot!

Jerry Brown is too worried about climate change to be concerned with his legacy.

9 times talking to strangers feels strangely good.

I am lusting after this octopus lantern.

I’m also in love with this octopus wine bottle holder.

Wondering out loud if I need the Mystical Tarot.

Perfect for this weekend’s Full Moon: Moon Power: Lunar Rituals for Connecting with Your Inner Goddess.

I adore Emilie Wapnick’s work. She has this new goody: How to Be Everything: A Guide for Those Who (Still) Don’t Know What They Want to Be When They Grow Up.

Ooooh: Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur.