The Hit List - A difference of family opinions

I come from a long line of opinionated people. Take politics, for example. As a child, politics was often discussed at the dinner table. My father only had an eighth-grade education, but he read the newspaper every night and had strong opinions on the state of the world. Most of the time, these dinner conversations were uneventful. After all, kids usually find that talk boring. However, the tension would become palpable when voices were raised—and that got our attention.

When my siblings and I became adults, our political leanings splintered. My brothers became staunch conservatives, I swerved left to anarchist, and my sister declared she “didn’t follow politics.” As you can imagine, things can get dicey when we come together, and the topic of politics comes up. Despite our different political leanings, we all share the same upbringing and family values. This means those disagreements blow over pretty quickly, especially when there is good food involved (we’re all amazing cooks, so that’s a given).

I’ll still get into heated discussions with my siblings at times, but generally, they don’t last long because we’re more focused on having a good time when we’re together. Also, we’re older. Suffice it to say: we have mellowed out…a lot. We have learned to be more tolerant of each other’s beliefs, even if we’re not on the same page. That is growth.

Learning to be civil with your loved ones, even when discussing something you’re passionate about, requires listening, respect, and restraint. If you practice these three things, you can move through this current political climate and just about anything with grace (including arguments about The Bear) – and relationships intact. Here’s how to do that with your family:

Listen: Too often, we listen without really listening. We listen while conjuring up a response. A good listening ear is essential if you’re going to discuss hot topics. Listen deeply without considering your response.

Respect: Respect means many things, including respecting other people’s right to believe whatever they want, speaking with kindness and dignity, and not name-calling or accusing. That’s NOT always easy to do (especially if you have a sharp tongue like I do!).

Restraint: Restraint is the art of calm. When anger takes over, not much good comes of it. Learning to control your temper paves the way for civility. And even if you agree to disagree, it can be done without torching the bridge. Restraint is a tool that can help us navigate through heated discussions with grace and composure.

So, as we enter a tense political season, please remember: you can have discourse with your family without discord, drama, and cruelty. I know it’s not always easy, and some folks might think that’s a Pollyanna viewpoint, but that’s fine with me. You’re entitled to your opinion.

xo,
Theresa

PS You can ignore people, too, ya know. Let ’em stew on their opinions (and yours) and go about your business. Protect your peace!

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