My father was 50 when I was born. He came from a different era, where men were men, and everyone else had to serve them. Cleaning the house and cooking was “women’s work,” and because I was the eldest daughter, I got stuck doing plenty of household chores. Naturally, this made me resentful. I still hate housework to this day. The worst part was the nightly dishes.
Dad had plenty of other sexist ideas, but there were other times when I questioned if he was more progressive than he let on. For one, he insisted I learn how to drive because he “didn’t want me to be dependent on a man.” (Mom couldn’t drive.) He thought women should have their own money, so he encouraged me to finish high school so I could get a good job (his ideal position for me was secretary…which was so NOT me). He also had no problem threatening my ex when he hurled a slur at me because women should be respected by their partners.
As the years went by, I began to notice something changing about the dynamic between my parents. Although he preached to me about “women’s work,” he started pitching in, even after working long hours. Mom had health issues, so he became an equal partner in keeping the house spic and span. No weaponized incompetence there. He cooked, cleaned, and did laundry. He would even show up at her job to help finish on days when she was dog-tired (she was the cleaning lady at the firehouse).
When Mom passed away, he did as much as any 90-something-year-old could. He hated being dependent on anyone.
Although he still sat around talking his Archie Bunker crap, many of his actions contradicted those words. Part of me thinks he actually enjoyed “women’s work.” Was he a secret feminist? Or an accidental one? Or was he just a good guy underneath the gruff, rough, macho stuff?
He’s been gone for over a decade. I wonder how he would feel about the way things are going in the world. I think he’d be happy to see a female vice president, although he’d probably have some gushy (and sexist) remarks about her attractiveness.
I also wonder what he would think about my world. I’m fiercely independent and a workaholic. My husband does the dishes.
I think Dad would be okay with that.
xo
Theresa
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Classes and Events
Join my Patreon Community! I am serving up extended card-of-the-day interpretations, astrological tidbits, community tarot practice, political astrology, early sneak peeks at horoscopes….and more. Higher tiers get access to live classes, replays of previous classes, mentoring, and more.
October 7, 2023: Tarot for Mediumship. Join me at the Boston Tea Room in Ferndale, Michigan, and learn how to use Tarot to receive messages from the dearly departed. Learn more here.
October 7, 2023: Ethics and Responsibilities for Professional Tarot Readers and Astrologers. In this workshop, we’ll discuss how to deliver ethical, responsible readings. Where: Boston Tea Room in Ferndale, Michigan. Learn more here.
October 13, 2023: Book signing at Free Spirit Crystals in Butler, Wisconsin. 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM. Come on down, say hi, get a copy of The Cards You’re Dealt signed, and check out the cool crystals in stock.
October 21st, 2023: Book signing at Aum Shanti in New York, NY. 12:00 PM – 2:00 PM. Meet me in the Big Apple and get your book signed. Yay!
What I’m Grateful For:
A fabulous publisher.
Checking off the to-do list
That in-between point when you don’t need a jacket, but you’re not sweaty either
A freshly painted house
Soundtrack for 9/30/23
Women Don’t Owe You Sh*t by Aston
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2023
images from stock photography and personal collection
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