Stars Crossed: What the Moon reveals about your relationships

The Stars Crossed series focuses on astrological compatibility. We’re moving past the Sun to examine the other planets in the next leg of the series. First up, the Moon!

When it comes to astrological compatibility, there’s more to it than Sun signs. In fact, all of the planets play a role. However, the Moon is among the most important planets to consider since it indicates your emotional needs. When you understand this part of your chart – or your partner’s – you can begin to connect in a meaningful way.

It’s easy to assume we can’t get along with the people in our lives. In some cases, it’s true. But in others, a bit of understanding, compassion, and respect go a long way. Astrology can be helpful. Once you know how someone operates, you can meet them where they are – and learn from each other.

The Moon teaches how to relate on an emotional level. When combined with the Sun, this helps us understand the deeper layers of someone’s personality.

For example, I’m a Gemini Sun, but my Moon is Scorpio. Gemini is known for being curious, flighty, and adaptable. That may be true, but my Moon shows I need depth, trust, and time alone. My husband is a Virgo with an Aries Moon. He’s an idealistic perfectionist who needs independence. Technically, our Suns are locked in a square, and our Moons are Mars-ruled, which means we’re set up for a War of The Roses scenario. However, we’ve been together for over thirty years with barely a skirmish (except the time I lost at Scrabble…). The key: we give each other space. He needs to be able to do this thing, and I crave alone time. We get it and respect it. See how this works?

You can find your natal Moon by using astrology software such as Time Passages or websites such as astro.com.

Here’s what you need to know about each Moon (please keep in mind this is general – there is more to consider once we put the whole chart together):

Aries: If Aries is your natal Moon, you need passion, excitement, new horizons, and fresh starts. You are emotionally intense, restless, high-strung, and volatile. You’re also more courageous than most, willing to dive into new relationships without much thought for where it might go (or not). Life is a gamble, and you’re not afraid to toss the dice. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll brush off your shoulders and be on to the next one. Love is an emotional rollercoaster, but you never want to get off. After all, why go for the mundane when there is so much to explore?

Need: passion, excitement, sizzle, independence.

If you live with a Moon in Aries person, be ready for changeable moods, temper tantrums, and loads of excitement. They’re never dull and expect you to be as fired up as they are. They also appreciate confident, independent types. Clingy types don’t fare well with these impulsive guys and gals. However, some Aries Moon do enjoy calm types. Sometimes, an anchor is the antidote to their fidgety nature. Just don’t drag them down too much. They tend to bolt if they feel pinned down.

Taurus: The Taurus Moon is a glorious one to have. The Moon is exalted in the sign of the Bull, so you can attract the good things in life with ease. It also means you’re emotionally stable, grounded, and down-to-earth. Although you enjoy nice things, no one would accuse you of being a snob. You’re happy to share the wealth, provided the other person expresses appreciation. Loyalty is one of your best traits. However, you can be obstinate or greedy. In some cases, natives with this placement are lazy.

Need: security, affection, loyalty, sensuality.

If you live with a Taurus Moon person, you’ll adore their trustworthy, dependable nature. You can always count on them to come through when needed. You’ll also love how affectionate they can be, especially if that is important to you. But that stubborn streak is another matter. There is no budging once they are fixated on an idea or mad. It’s best to give them time to sort it out rather than trying to push.

Gemini: Like Aries Moons, Gemini Moon is restless. You need mental stimulation, or you’re searching for the nearest exit. Your intellectual ability and wit are unmatched. Is it any wonder everyone wants to be in your orbit? There is much coming and going in your life. Short trips, daily errands, and nonstop classes keep you and those who love you on their toes. You can be excitable at times, and when that leans to the negative, it can turn into anxiety. You’re a hot mess when you are in this mode, although you may play it off as not that big of a deal. Brainy people turn you on, and exciting conversations will keep you loyal. If someone tries to pin you down, you’re outta there. You want breathing room at all times.

Need: mental stimulation, fun, independence, conversation.

If you live with a Moon in Gemini person, you’ll notice that they are moody despite the affable face they put on. Behind the scenes, they worry and brood far more than they should. The best medicine: let them talk it out. If you have a good ear, they’ll bend it. But if this makes you impatient, insist they have a therapist. Moon in Gemini people do much better if they have a good one on speed dial.

Cancer: The Moon rules Cancer, so she is right at home here. If this is your Moon, you crave security in your relationships. When that is established, you are happy to commit. In fact, you make a lovely partner. You’re sensitive to other people’s needs, kind, and an excellent caregiver. You’ll do whatever it takes to make your loved ones feel good. The downside to this Moon is moodiness. You can go from joy to sulking in a matter of minutes. When feeling threatened, you become clingy. No one likes that.

Need: security, trust, affection, nurturing (both giving and receiving)

Kindness goes a long way if you live with a Cancer Moon person. These tender-hearted souls get easily crushed by cruelty. If you mistreat them, they retreat to their shells. Or they scurry away, never to be heard from again. So, be nice. Make them feel secure. Avoid ridicule. Compliment their cooking skills and offer to take care of them as well as they take care of you. When they go into pout mode, give them a little time. Then, check in. They are yours if you show you care and are willing to work on things together.

Leo: You have a big heart. Bigger than most. That’s because Leo rules the heart. This means it’s easy for you to express your feelings. Sometimes, you do so in a dramatic fashion, too. When you show love, you do it in the grandest way. But when you’re pissed off, the roar of the Lion comes through loud and clear! Respect is essential to you. You’ll move on if you don’t get it in your relationships. You won’t stay where you can’t be recognized for your greatness. But ah, sometimes this is ego stuff. Perhaps it’s not that people don’t respect you; instead, they are tired of your need to be number one. Learn to share the stage, and your relationships will thrive.

Need: devotion, respect, fun, loyalty

You’re in for a treat if you live with a Leo Moon person. These noble people know how to treat the ones they love like royalty. They’re especially good gift-givers (although they want you to do the same). Most Leo Moon folks are loyal. It’s the rare ones who stray. When that happens, it’s usually because the interloper has a gift for flattery, Leo’s weakness. Their tempers are legendary, but if you give it a minute, they’ll pipe down soon enough. However, they tend to hold grudges for lifetimes. The way to break the spell: you guessed it…flattery.

Virgo: This Moon is more reserved than the other Moons. It’s not that you can’t open up. You can, once you decide the other person meets your picky criteria. Is it any wonder that Moon in Virgos are not in a hurry to commit? You’re a fine partner once you do. You’ll take care of all the practical situations. In fact, they’ll wonder how they ever lived without you. Here’s the deal: to be happy, you need to be able to fix things (or people). You need a purpose. Once you have that, you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and get to work. The problem is that others get sick of being your pet project. Lay off the criticism, and you’ll find others will love you without you having to work so hard. You don’t have to “earn” affection. You deserve it just for being you.

Need: order, practicality, perfection, someone to serve

If you live with a Virgo Moon person, you’ll discover one amazing thing: they are great listeners and problem solvers. It’s like having your own personal shrink! It’s tempting to dump your problems on these stoic folks. Chances are, they’ll be willing to fix whatever conundrum you’re facing. However, at some point, they get tired of picking up after you. What they really want is an equal. Straighten up, fly right, and show up as someone they can respect. A funny thing happens when you do: they blossom. Suddenly, you see their big hearts and deep compassion.

Libra: If you have a Libra Moon, you’re a sweetheart. Relationships are your jam, and you’ll do whatever you can to make it work, even if the other person is a challenge. What you need to be happy: fairness, kindness, and compromise. You’re willing to go all in when a loved one treats you well. But this can quickly turn to codependence or people-pleasing. When that happens, you lose your sense of individuality. Sooner or later, that leads to resentment or passive-aggressive power plays. You must learn to express your needs honestly if you want your relationships to thrive.

Need: harmony, beauty, romance, good manners

If you live with a Libra Moon person, they’re generally great partners. Everyone is a good listener, and they are more than willing to meet you in the middle. They’re terrific at romance but also solid friends and parents. No one is more fair or ethical. Sometimes, they bend too much, sacrificing what they want to keep the peace. If you sense they are doing that, ask them what they really want. It will put them on the spot but lead to a more honest partnership.

Scorpio: Scorpio Moon gets a rep for being a “bad moon.” This is because it’s intense, emotionally volatile, possessive, and comes with a side order of vindictiveness. If you have this Moon, you need depth. If you can’t get that, you clam up or move on. You’re great at ferreting other people’s secrets but not too hot at revealing your own. Instead, the unlucky partner has to guess what you want. The trouble is, they’re not as psychic as you. Learn to open up and lighten up – and your relationships will fare much better.

Need: trust, loyalty, privacy, sex

If you live with a Scorpio Moon person, you won’t be bored. The emotional rollercoaster will be exciting. But their tendency to distrust will be exhausting. You may feel as if you have to constantly prove your devotion. Sigh. These paranoid folks have a hard time letting anyone in. You can trace this back to their childhood when an adult let them down. Once that happened, they took a personal vow of silence or violence. The best way to handle these surly types is to be honest and loyal and give them space when they are in the mood to brood. If you can do that, you’ll never meet anyone as devoted.

Sagittarius: Sagittarius Moon people are truth-tellers. If this is your Moon, you demand candor. Therefore, anyone who wishes to be in your world needs to be as transparent as possible. Freedom is also essential. After all, you love to roam. The thought of being tied down too tightly bores you to tears – and makes you do bold, foolish things. When you’re ready to settle down, you’ll still need space to do your thing. The ideal partnerships are fellow adventurers and spiritual seekers who love to jet off at a moment’s notice.

Need: freedom, truth, adventure, passion

If you live with a Sagittarius Moon person, you must be 100% honest in all your interactions. They’ll be crushed if you fib. Because they’re easygoing, they’ll probably forgive you. But if your tendency to gloss over things becomes a habit, they’ll be gone like the wind. Sometimes, they can be blowhards. They’ll talk to hear themselves talk, waxing poetic about this adventure or the latest book they read. Some are religious fanatics. In these cases, you’ll need to set boundaries if you want to protect your peace.

Capricorn: Capricorn Moon is all about getting things done. If you have this Moon, you need meaningful work and something (or someone) to manage. You’re remarkably proficient, even when it comes to your emotional life. You can compartmentalize when necessary. This leads to misunderstandings. Some folks will assume this means you’re cold. You’re not. You are simply discerning, only opening your tender heart when someone has proven trustworthy (or useful). Until that happens, you’re reserved and all about the business.

Need: competence, mutual respect, courtesy, intelligence

If you live with a Moon in Capricorn person, they take time to warm up. You cannot rush into relationships with them. They love structure, so routines will be necessary. You’ll knock heads if you’re the messy type who wants to live in the moment. Of course, if you can get them to lighten up, they’re hilarious. Capricorn Moons can be stingy with their affection. You have to coax it out. Despite this, they are an excellent bet for a long-term relationship. You just need to give them a minute.

Aquarius: Friendship, community, and logic are your faves if this is your Moon. While you’re not the emo type, you’re certainly friendly. You have friends from all walks of life and are loyal to the core. Although you’re not known for expressing your emotions, you do run all of your feelings through your fine mind. This can play out two ways: one, you might glean a deep understanding of your emotional life, or two, you analyze yourself to the point of neurosis.

Need: friendship, logic, tolerance, space

Suppose you live with a Moon in Aquarius person. In that case, you’ll adore their quirky sense of humor and ability to get along with everyone. What you won’t like: their tendency to get lost in their heads. What are they feeling? Who knows? If you can get them to talk, they’ll gladly give you a PowerPoint presentation of their emotional state. When hurt, they’ll turn to ice. Once that happens, it’s hard to get them to melt because they are a fixed sign.

Pisces: Pisces Moon may be the most emotional of all. If you have this placement, you’re sensitive, empathic, compassionate, moody, and easily hurt. You’re capable of great sacrifices for the ones you love. Ultimately, that’s what’s important to you: love. You want to merge with your partners and connect hearts with the world. When people or the world disappoints, you seek escape through booze, drugs, or fantasies.

Need: compassion, sensitivity, stability, creativity

If you live with a Moon in Pisces person, you must be ultra-sensitive to their feelings. If you wound these kindly souls, they’ll hold that hurt forever. They respond well to affection, encouragement, and creative pursuits. Give them space to process their emotions. Let them spill their guts, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Better yet, learn to empathize as well as they do. When that happens, your connection can become profound.

So the questions become:

Should you go out with someone who has the same moon? Can an Aquarian Moon mix with a Scorpio Moon?

Answers: You can be with anyone you want, provided you respect each other’s differences and treat each other with love and compassion. You don’t need to have ‘compatible’ moons.

xo
Theresa

If you want to cover astrological basics, be sure to check out my book, Astrology For Real Life: A No B.S. Guide for the AstroCurious.

image from stock photography

@ Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2024