Stars Crossed: What Mercury reveals about your relationships

The Stars Crossed series focuses on astrological compatibility. We’re moving past the Sun to examine the other planets in the next leg of the series. Next up, Mercury!

In relationships, communication is everything. Mercury, the planet of communication, rules over how we express ourselves, listen, and respond. In astrology, the position of Mercury in your birth chart, also known as ‘Mercury in [Zodiac Sign] ‘, can provide insights into your unique communication style. This is the place you look to learn how your loved one communicates, responds, and listens.

But what happens when your Mercury expresses itself in radically different ways than your partner’s? Simple. You and your partner honor each other’s style – and practice active listening. This not only values your partner’s communication style but also makes them feel heard and understood.

You can find your natal Mercury by using astrology software such as Time Passages or websites such as astro.com.

Here are the unique communication styles for each Mercury sign.

Mercury in Aries: Mercury in Aries tends to speak fast. They have a lot to say and seem in a hurry to get those words out, especially in a debate. They’ll often “shoot from the hip,” which means they don’t have a filter. This can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Folks with this placement often “listen to respond” instead of active listening. They need to learn how to be patient, diplomatic, and present. If you are trying to communicate with a Mercury in Aries person, prepare to be interrupted – and call them on it. When Mercury is poorly aspected, it can lead to an aggressive, volatile method of speaking.

Mercury in Taurus: These patient souls are excellent listeners. They’ll give you all the time in the world to say what’s on your mind. Of course, they’ll expect you to do the same. Their thought processes tend to be methodical and pragmatic, so don’t expect quick discussions. Mercury in Taurus people need time. Once they form an opinion, they can be rigid. When that happens, it’s hard to convince them otherwise. If you push, they can get “angry as a bull.” Some Mercury in Taurus folks are moody. It’s best to leave them be when they’re like that. You’ll only end up frustrated. If you have this placement, it’s necessary for you to learn to be flexible.

Mercury in Gemini: Mercury rules Gemini, so it operates well in this sign. It produces a sharp mind, witty demeanor, and excellent communicator. In fact, communication falls under Gemini’s realm, so is it any wonder these folks have a gift for gab? They’re great fun to be around. However, they are mercurial, which means their moods shift like the wind. They are also not the best listeners, especially if the topic is dull or too intense for their liking. When that happens, they drift off into a sea of pretty thoughts only to come back to earth without a clue what you’ve just said. They need to cultivate better listening skills and more tolerance for tough discussions. If you have this placement, learn how to ground and center your fine brain.

Mercury in Cancer: Mercury in Cancer folks have lovely imaginations, excellent memories, and exceptional intuitive skills. They also have no problem talking about their feelings. In fact, they’ll be quick to let you know when they’re in love – or madder than a wet hen. They’re extremely sensitive and able to sense how you feel, too. This can lead to emotional depth with their loved ones – or a tendency toward codependence. Mercury in Cancer people are also highly impressionable, so it’s wise for them to keep emotional guardrails up until the other party proves trustworthy. They get into trouble when they hang on to the past. When that happens, they’ll go through a laundry list of every past transgression. If you have this placement, you need to learn to fight fair by focusing on the now rather than what went down a million years ago.

Mercury in Leo: People with Mercury in Leo tend to have sunny dispositions. They are kind-hearted, positive, and tolerant. Most of them are great listeners – you can tell them anything. They’re not judgy. They express their feelings in dramatic, often theatrical ways, whether declaring love or showing their temper. For the latter, their anger usually dies down quickly unless you humiliate them. If that happens, they will put on a show, complete with tantrums. If Mercury is poorly aspected, they can be boastful blowhards, endlessly prattling on about their greatness. They’ll fish for compliments – and you best give them if you want to avoid drama! Other than that, they are fantastic communicators. If you have this placement, remember: it’s not always about you.

Mercury in Virgo: Like Gemini, Mercury rules Virgo. This means they possess a great deal of intelligence. Unlike Gemini, they are down-to-earth and practical. Mercury in Virgo people are concerned with facts. If they sense you’re exaggerating, they’ll have no trouble coming with receipts. Virgo does NOT play. They are analytical, so while listening, they’re also taking note. They’ll absorb every word and be quick with advice. Sometimes, this gets them into trouble when people want to vent and aren’t looking for solutions. When that happens, Virgo loses their cool and can quickly dismiss their partners. Also, Mercury in Virgo people can become chronic complainers, especially if Mercury is poorly aspected. If you have this placement, watch your tendency to criticize too harshly.

Mercury in Libra: Mercury in Libra creates an intelligent, balanced, and tactful disposition. These are natural-born diplomats who can talk to anyone in any situation. They’re charming and gracious, always aware of how to make others feel at ease. Every one is an excellent listener. They genuinely care about your feelings. Sometimes to the point where they put their own needs on hold. Some Mercury in Libra people can be indecisive to the point where they cannot make a move without consulting others. If the Mercury is negatively aspected, they can be self-centered and manipulative. Many Mercury in Libra people go into law because they actually enjoy arguing. If you have this placement, be careful about passive-aggressiveness. Practice being transparent.

Mercury in Scorpio: Mercury in Scorpio folks tend to be secretive. While listening to you, they reveal little to nothing about themselves. If you want someone to listen to your deepest, darkest sins, they’re fabulous. But you’re in for a rough ride if you want total vulnerability. That has to be earned. Even if you get in, they will always have guardrails up. Mercury in Scorpios have skeptical minds – it’s difficult for them to trust. Even so, they are the best secret keepers of the zodiac. Once you tell them to keep it on the down low, their lips are zipped. Mercury in Scorpios have ferocious tempers and can be vindictive when crossed. Basically, don’t piss them off. If you have this placement, work on sharing more.

Mercury in Sagittarius: Folks with Mercury in Sagittarius are broadminded, optimistic, and tolerant. They are quick thinkers – but quickly bored. This means they can lack concentration, especially when the topic isn’t stimulating (or too emotional). However, they are delightful conversationalists known for their wit and candor. Honesty is a must with Mercury in Sagittarius people. They like to “tell it like it is,” and rarely fib. Sometimes, they can be blunt to the point of cruelty. It’s seldom meant to be malicious…they’re “just telling the truth.” If they learn to think before they open their mouths, they can prevent hurting feelings. If you have this placement, curb your bluntness.

Mercury in Capricorn: Mercury in Capricorns are serious thinkers. They have excellent powers of concentration and highly disciplined minds. They’re also mentally ambitious – they enjoy learning. When it comes to communication, they are reserved. They’ll be great at listening to others but not too hot about sharing their feelings. It takes time for them to feel comfortable, so don’t push Mercury in Caps to reveal if they’re not ready. It will have the opposite effect. Some of these folks are rigid, especially if they grew up in oppressive households. This can come off as coldness, but it’s more likely a fear of rejection. Once you get them to trust you, they are grounded communicators capable of great emotional depth. If you have this placement, lighten up. Let your fine sense of humor come out to play.

Mercury in Aquarius: This is an excellent placement for Mercury. The mind is cool, logical, tolerant, and intellectual. It’s also the mark of the nonconformist. Mercury in Aquarius people are not inclined to follow the herd – they blaze their own trails. At times, this could mean reeling for the sake of rebelling. When that happens, they can become argumentative. They’ll get hyper-focused on making their point – and stubbornly refuse to accept anything that doesn’t make sense (according to their sensibility). Despite this tendency to be opinionated, their minds will open if you approach them with logic. Facts only, please. If you have this placement, learn to sit with your feelings – and the feelings of others.

Mercury in Pisces: Mercury in Pisces people are mentally creative. These dreamers have their heads in the clouds, imagining all sorts of beautiful things. Sometimes, they can “space out,” which can lead to a reputation for being flaky. But don’t get it twisted: they are wise souls with excellent memories and highly developed intuitions. However, if Mercury is poorly aspected, they can be compulsive talkers or delusional. They need to practice grounding – and listening. This is important because their emotions can create all sorts of scenarios…that never happened. Substances are dangerous for Mercury in Pisces folks. It clouds their thinking, something they don’t need help with. It’s better for them to be sober, especially when they need to have emotionally charged conversations. If you have this placement, work on being present when you are with others.

So, using myself as an example: my natal Mercury is in Gemini. My son’s Mercury is in Capricorn. While we are well-matched intellectually, I have to remember it takes him time to open up about his feelings (especially when you consider his Gemini Moon). This means I have to really practice good listening when we are discussing things that are important to him. I cannot dismiss his concerns with a wave of my hands or changing the subject (something I do at times!).

In conclusion, understanding and adapting to different communication styles, influenced by zodiac signs, is crucial for fostering better understanding and communication in relationships.

xo
Theresa

If you want to cover astrological basics, be sure to check out my book, Astrology For Real Life: A No B.S. Guide for the AstroCurious.

image from stock photography

@ Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2024