Soul Proprietor - Running a business when your life falls apart

I’ll never forget the day when my life changed forever. That day was when my mother passed away almost ten years ago.

I was busy running two businesses and helping two children navigate adult life (Geminis like to do two things at once). Suddenly, I was taking care of my 90 year old father and the mountain of debt Mom left behind. As soon as I started finding a way to manage all of this, the father of my children died. Two weeks later, my favorite cat also crossed over. Things with my siblings went from tense to an all out war.

Yeah…life pretty much fell apart for me and it was four long, bitter years of this.

Thankfully, my businesses managed to do just fine despite all this drama. In fact, my work life kept me sane during the constant crisis-o-rama. I found that working kept my mind engaged on something productive rather than allowing me to wallow in self-pity and endless bottles of wine (okay, I’ll admit…there were plenty of bottles of wine and dark chocolate sea salt caramels helping me out).

For some of us, work can be a sort of therapy when life hands you a crap sandwich. But for others, when life falls apart…so goes the business.

How can you remain sustainable when everything seems to be in shit-show mode? Or what should you do when it’s unbearable and affecting the quality of your work?

Here’s my advice:

First things first: if appropriate, let your clients know what’s up. They’ll be far more understanding than you might think and willing to work with you should your schedule need tweaking or your availability becomes scarcer.

Next: get help. You’ll want a support system in place. That support system can consist of family and friends, hired help, or a therapist. Do NOT go it alone. (I was fortunate because I have an incredible spouse and a solid core of friends.)

Three words to abide by: extreme self care. That means healthy eating, exercise, massage, counseling, or whatever you feel you need. Do not neglect yourself. This is essential.

If need be, take a sabbatical. A leave of absence while you straighten out your life is not only wise but possibly necessary. If your personal issues are getting in the way of how you serve your clients, then it does not make sense to continue on with a half-assed effort. What to watch out for: are you projecting your issues onto your clients? Are you “not present”? Are you breaking down at the job and unable to complete basic tasks? If you say yes to these three questions, you owe it to yourself and your clients to take a strategic time out.

In some cases, it may be wisest to close shop. This is extreme but sometimes it’s the only option. If you are not well enough to work and find your business is failing, give yourself permission to throw in the towel. I’ve written a blog post over at Coaching Blueprint that might help you if you find that this is your optoin: How to gracefully close your business.

Keep in mind that none of us are immune to drama. There are no guarantees that your life will always function in perfect harmony (I’d like to wager that life will often function in imperfect disharmony). Always do your best but if you find that you’re struggling under the weight off too much life-crap, give yourself some space and a whole lotta loving so that you can continue to show up as your very best, even when life is not the best.

Blessings,
Theresa