Soul Proprietor – Peer Review

Years ago, early in my career, a woman who owned a metaphysical shop took a dislike to me. It didn’t matter that I helped her get the shop up and running or that I had been a popular draw to her shop. She turned on me for reasons that I still don’t understand to this day and began to badmouth me every chance she got.

It didn’t take long for these vicious rumors to reach my ears and naturally, I was hurt. I also worried that this would impact my business.

I shared my fears to a peer who remarked “Pay that no mind. If she’s talking like that, it’s jealousy. People aren’t dumb. They can smell that a mile away. It will destroy her business.”

Less than three years later, the doors to her shop closed. A few people came to me and told me that her nastiness began to turn them off. One remarked “she always talked poorly about you but you never said one word publicly about her. That told me a lot about your character…and hers.”

Boom.

I’ve written about nasty peers before but felt compelled to share this story after hearing yet one more horror story about a colleague trashing another publicly. In this case, the person was dealing with a “hate reader”, a person who reads their blog and then proceeds to talk in a denigrating way about the writer. It was an attempt to shame the other person and make them feel insecure. It was working. The blogger was feeling afraid to share anything on her blog because this peer seemed to enjoy throwing shade wherever she could.

This sort of mentality is not only cruel, it’s as unprofessional as it gets.

If you don’t like your colleague’s work, a public bashing doesn’t make them look bad – it makes you look like a jerk. As I like to say: you can’t build your business up by tearing down someone else’s. It’s a crummy strategy and it rarely works. Be better, not bitter.

If you are the person who is a victim of a peer’s haterade, you don’t have to drink that, my friend. Your best bet: ignore, block and delete. Give them none of your attention because ultimately, that is what these types are seeking.

Above all, don’t let their pettiness make you a smaller version of yourself. Instead, continue to be a shining example of grace and class for your industry. Be the better person. It’s not the easy path but it’s the right one towards a resilient business.

When they throw shade, shine brighter.

Blessings,

Theresa

As I was writing this post, this fabulous post from life coach Susan Hyatt landed in my inbox: Don’t take off your jacket. It covers the same topic so brilliantly. Do read it – and sign up for her newsletter. It’s the right kind of pump-you-up motivation that every entrepreneur needs!

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