Soul Proprietor - Business jealous much?

I was having lunch with a fellow entrepreneur not that long ago when the subject of professional jealousy came up. Not about being jealous – but what it felt like when someone was throwing shade your way.

My friend received a particularly nasty email from a colleague who wanted to let her know that she had “gotten too big for her britches” and “sold out” or some such thing. This was followed by a litany of everything the sender thought my friend was doing wrong. This email was not a critique – it was an attack.

Naturally, this email upset her. It was designed to do just that – to kick her off the imaginary pedestal this hater thought she was on.

It was rude, unprofessional, and dripping with venom.

It was also a bit sad because once you dug deeper into the other person’s business, you could see that they were struggling. The nastiness of that email was cloaking a whole bunch of insecurity. In most cases, that’s the underlying problem – they’re not doing as well as they’d like so they are mad if someone else is killing it.

If you’ve never experienced the wrath of a jealous peer, count yourself fortunate. Many people have.

But as I like to say: Haters gonna hate when they can’t create.

If this email sender had spent less time focusing on what’s wrong with her peer and more time getting down with her own business, perhaps she’d experience a little more of the success and attention that my friend was getting. If she put energy into loving her clients and creating things to delight them, there would be little room for all this shade.

When you’re busy working on your own success, you have zero time to be invested in someone else’s.

Handling jealous peers

What can you do when someone reaches out to take a swipe at you? What is the best way to handle a success-hating colleague?

Start with kindness. These people need your compassion because they are in a pretty sad place. Be a class act and an example of graciousness, even if they are not showing you the same. You may even want to reach back, let them know that you feel their pain. Ask them if you can help. That requires a lot of bigness.

If you can’t muster that, then your next best move is to let it go. Give it no energy. Hit delete and move on.

I also recommend that you spend time with positive, confident, successful people. Surround yourself with that. That good energy rubs off – and becomes a teflon barrier to nasty stuff. Seriously – get some rock stars around you and you’ll become immune to creeps.

Tanya Geisler recommends keeping a “Yum and Yay” folder handy, a folder of emails, cards of other “proof of your awesome” from people who love and appreciate your work. I have one of those but I also save all the thank you cards I receive over the years and past them over my office so I can remember that I am surrounded by love. That love drowns out the jealous, insecure energy that occasionally shows up in my world.

Lastly, send love to your colleagues – often. Cheer them on when they score a win. Support and share their best work. Let them know how great they are. Because that vibe amongst peers is a better one.

As I always say: be better, not bitter.

Blessings,

Theresa