The Hit List - Before You Hit Send

There it was. A snide comment on a blog.

Not mine…someone else’s. Someone who was trying to do good work in the world. A person that I know to be a beacon of kindness and integrity. A model of what’s good in the universe.

But yet someone – a peer – felt the need to leave an unkind remark.

Why?

Was it to knock her down a peg or two? To take her off some sort of imaginary, threatening pedestal? Why would a colleague feel the need to drop a big bag of condescending snark on someone else’s digital home?

I don’t have the answers but I do have a solution if you find yourself thinking of doing the same: pause before you hit send.

That simple.

Even if you feel that you’re trying to offer “constructive criticism”, take a moment. Consider how your words and tone might impact the other person. If you really do have a critique, might you frame it so that you are truly helpful? Might there be a way to do this privately instead?

Maybe in some cases “calling someone out” might be righteous. After all, when someone is behaving horribly, we cannot turn a blind eye, right? But dumping on someone who is doing nothing except trying to be kind or helpful? Think first before you hit that button, bruh.

How might your words make them feel? Is making them feel bad what you are aiming for? If so, rethink this.

And maybe leave something sweet instead. Instead of finding fault, find something to like. Do that.

Make someone’s day instead of making them feel like shit.

The end.

It’s perfectly fine to show cats with shark hats on the internet. More, please.

Other stuff:

From shaman Sarah Petruno: How to clear your online energy presence to attract more clients.

Bust writes about the legacy of Clara Bow, America’s first sex symbol (and my favorite silent film actress).

I love the Quick Not Dirty tips over at Lenny Letter.

Good reading: 5 beliefs that hurt your relationships – and how to let them go.

The University of Chicago is not supporting trigger warnings or safe spaces.

It’s happening: the re-segregation of schools.

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of doll cakes. This bakery got slammed for making a Ken doll cake. Meanwhile, I’m jealous that I didn’t get one.

Brie Larson’s friend, Melinda Lee Holm, is making tarot-inspired jewelry.

I got the most lovely shoutout from Mary of Seven Cups Mystic in her Modern Tarot Queens post! So honored!

Unbelievable: sending cancer patients to debtor’s prisons. WTH?!

My gal Amelia Quint is featured as one of the 6 bloggers rocking unique niches over at XO Sarah.

Want to read tarot down to the bones? Then get yourself over to Camelia Elias’ digital world and sign right up for Cards and Magic 2.0. This looks uh-may-zing!

What to eat for dinner based on your zodiac sign. According to the AstroTwins, us Geminis should be going for the finger foods. (But what about the doll cakes???)

Planning on going to Florida but worried about the Zika virus? Here’s what to do.

For biz ladies: Caroline Frenette is hosting a day long business acceleration hang in Los Angeles.

“Mysticore” is a hot new trend. (Psst…mystical stuff never went outta style.)

Must read: a DIY guide to feminist cybersecurity.

Just in time: The Hermit’s Lamp has a great new class – Reboot Your Life with Mercury Retrograde. And it’s only 50 damn bucks.

Rush Limbaugh is worried about lesbian farmers.

Great post on the Hierophant and facing change from Barbara Moore.

The troubled teen industry has been a hot mess – but a lucrative one.

Might need to try these for myself: Bathtime rituals to put kids to bed.

Tarot lovers take note: Briana Saussy has a BRILLIANT new program – 20 Question Tarot. This is so smart – get on it!

Wondering what it’s like to be a defense lawyer in a rigged criminal justice system? Read this post from Mother Jones.

Loving this wisdom from Mara Glatzel: Being too precious about the process.