The Hit List - Awkward conversations

I was a nosy little girl. The type who listened around corners to hear what the adults were talking about? Guilty as charged.

In fact, I was always interested in the adult world and couldn’t wait to grow the heck up so that I could do whatever it was I assumed adults did all day. I just knew they were up to something…but what?

I would dig around through forbidden drawers, poke around in mom’s purse, and stalk her closet when she was busy doing other things…trying to find clues to the mysterious world of grown-ups. Especially females who seemed to enjoy whispering together over beers on lazy summer days. What could they be hiding?

One day, I found something that added more confusion to the already not-quite-sure-what-they-are-really-up-to vibe: I discovered the box of sanitary pads in the bathroom under the sink. They were called “napkins” back then and were about two inches thick. What were these “napkins” for?

The box didn’t say much so my imagination was on fire (I did consider swiping one to make a doll bed for my beloved bendable monkey toy). But I knew better to ask. Mom wasn’t one who liked my constant questioning. So I put them back in the cupboard and forgot about them…for a minute.

The next time I got a cut on my arm from whatever hijinks I was involved in, I remembered those pads and thought they might be perfect for dressing my wound. I sauntered into the bathroom, grabbed one and fashioned a little cast for myself. It fit perfectly around my skinny little arm and better yet – had adhesive tape so it stayed in place. Problem solved!

I walked proudly in the kitchen where mom was enjoying a beer with my aunt, swinging that arm like some jaunty sailor, my homemade sanitary pad cast in full view.

A moment of dead silence followed by my aunt’s guffaws and my mother, horrified and red-faced, shooing me out of the room and ripping off my cast while ignoring my demands to know what that mysterious napkin was for.

I had to wait a few more years for the revelation. Which might have been one of the most awkward conversations in my life. My mother did her best but she was a repressed sort and Catholic as can be – talking about this kind of stuff? Not her bag. My reaction didn’t help either (kicking at the wall and screaming that this was “never” going to happen to me!). So yeah. That.

I was outraged and horrified. As a girl who watched too many horror movies, the very notion was as sci-fi as it got. Even the movies they showed us at school didn’t make any of this better. It embarrassing, period. (Pun intended.)

But life goes on and we learn to deal with all that stuff. Then we have kids of our own. And, if karma has it’s way with you, you get a daughter.

Sigh.

I was determined that my daughter would have a better experience than I did. Yes, I was going to make it ‘un-awkward’. I’d be that info-mom-mercial who made it all sound so natural and stuff. I’d take the sci-fi out of it. I was going to be the “cool mom.”

But…even with my attempt to be “cool ‘n natural” that conversation was as clumsy as could be.

I felt like a total phony and was as red-faced, sweaty and lame as my mother was when she sat me down for “the talk” so many years ago.

So yeah…so much for cool. I sucked at this stuff. Epic mom-fail.

Lesson learned: some conversations are just not ever going to be chill or natural, no matter how well-intentioned we may be. But you know what? Have those conversations anyways.

Other stuff:

Bun B is not only a great rapper – he’s also the best political commentator ever. Read his dispatches from Wisconsin and you’ll see why I’m digging his reporting.

Glad I never used this shit: Johnson & Johnson gets sued – there is a link between talcum powder and ovarian cancer.

“You never, ever know how your words might influence someone else’s life.” Wise words from Alexandra Franzen.

Drugs you don’t need for disorders you don’t have. Big pharma’s industry to put us all to sleep.

This week I talked to Nicole Antoinette over at Real Talk Radio about tarot, business, and food. I had a blast chatting with her!

The patronizing questions we ask women who write. MUST READ.

I’ll be leading another workshop at the World Domination Summit this year. Didn’t get a ticket? No worries – they just launched a new thang: WDS Connect. This is a way for everyone to join in! (PS if you want to get in my workshop, do keep an eye over there…and here. I’ll make sure you’re in the know!)

Speaking of WDS, founder Chris Guillebeau has a new book coming out and if you pre-order your copy now, you get a whole bunch of goodies and bonus stuff from him! Get it get it: Born For This.

Liz Worth dishes on the hardest thing about being a tarot reader. TRUTH.

Check out the girl’s version of the Game of Life. HILARIOUS. (PS I always hated that game.)

The Hoodwitch works Angeles Arrien’s Self Esteem tarot spread.

Tarot lovers rejoice: Joanna Powell Colbert is releasing her fabulous new Majors-only deck, The Pentimento Tarot. It’s GORGEOUS.

Forced to deliver a stillborn? Yep. That’s what is happening in Texas thanks to the restrictive laws on women’s health.

Just in time for travel season: how to pack the perfect carryon.

There are still a few tickets left for the annual Reader’s Studio conference. If you love tarot, you don’t want to miss it! (I’m teaching an evening workshop!)

Damien Echols talks about art, magick, and his newest work.

The 70’s prom look was….interesting. Because looking like Holly Hobbie is surely hip, right?

Ever feel jealous of someone you see floating around your online orbit? Here are 12 ways to manage online jealousy.

Feeling disconnected? Here’s a simple tarot exercise that might help.

GOOP brings on psychologist astrologer Dr. Jennifer Freed to talk about how to use your Sun sign to navigate conflict.

I’m in love with Siobhan Renee’s Face Up Tarot series over at Little Red Tarot. Her latest is Food & Privilege: a free form face up spread.

I adore Gala Darling’s New Moon Magic series. She’s tackling that upcoming New Moon in Aries. Rebirth, baby!

Jennifer Louden talks about how she is still learning to write.

Digging Lisa Boswell’s thoughts on fate, destiny and free will living in harmony.

Debra Smouse has a FAB new e-course for messy entrepreneurs like myself: Clearing Clutter & Creating Systems for Entrepreneurs and Others Who Office At Home.

Girlboss Woo is bringing woo + business together in the very best way. Check out: 3 Brand Lessons for Girlbosses from The Emperor (yes, really).

Susannah Conway’s April Love Letters might be just what your heart + soul needs.

Bummer: one of my favorite NY haunts, the Patricia Field store, is closing. And one of the places I used to shop at all the time, Trash and Vaudeville, has moved out of the Lower East Side. (Remind me to tell the story of the hottest guy in the world who worked at the store across the street in the 80’s. OMFG.)

Looking forward to this new stuff from Julia Cameron and Emma Lively: It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again: Discovering Creativity and Meaning at Midlife and Beyond.

On my wish list: The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier.

HOBO makes the cutest wallets ever. I love this one.

Only a few more days and Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest cookbook drops: It’s All Easy: Delicious Weekday Recipes for the Super-Busy Home Cook.

Because I adore sleeping, I’m excited about the newest book from Arianna Huffington, The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time.

Courtney Weber has a fantastic new book coming in November – Tarot for One: The Art of Reading for Yourself. It’s ready for pre-order!

What I’m Grateful For:

Being a mom, cool or not.

Hair clips

Kind checkout clerks

Gyros on a busy day

Love notes in the mail