Foodies, fierce rappers + fly mamas: 7 heroes that I’d LOVE to do a Tarot reading for (c’mon, Universe. Have deck. Will travel.)

You’ve got heroes, right?

Maybe yours wear capes but mine don’t.

I prefer modern day rabble rousers, innovative thinkers, trend setters, musical non-conformists, and all around legendary badasses.

I often fantasize about what it would be like to sit down and get some serious tarot on with some of my faves. Would they be as fun and interesting to read as I imagine? Are their lives really in need of a tarot tune up?

I’ll never know unless they give me a jingle.

So here’s my dream list of the people I find absolutely fascinating and with whom I’d love to get my tarot on (Memo to anyone on the list that might actually bother to read this: have your people contact mine, yo!):

Actor: Of course, since I’m a massive “Game of Thrones” fan, it’s only natural that one of the actors would be top o’ my list. Peter Dinklage would be my ultimate querent, hands down. He’s brilliant, thoughtful, talented, and sexy as hell. Plus we share the same birthday so extra hell yeah points for cosmic twinship! (My husband claims that his “Imp” persona matches my own quite closely so I’m counting on us having a blast working together.)

Hot young thang: I’m fascinated with Lena Dunham. She’s got moxie, she’s daring, she’s young, and utterly interesting. I wonder if her personal life is every bit as neurotic and hilarious as her “Girls” character. If so, I’d be great at giving her some tarot-centered man and career advice. But would she listen?

Foodie: Chef Jamie Oliver’s food revolution speaks to me, big time. I love to cook and I make everything from scratch. Also, I hate it when people bitch about how hard it is to cook fresh food. Oliver makes mincemeat out of that whinefest with his easy to follow cookbooks. My fantasy: give him some tarot fueled strategies for expanding his message to the world and then head to the kitchen to cook a meal together. Wine is on me, buddy.

Politics: Election season is not far away and I’d love to sit down with Hilary Clinton and give her some insights about her competition. Why not have a tarot edge in your political arsenal? (PS I have my Mars in Virgo also and conjunct Pluto and Uranus in the 11th house. I’m very, very good at strategy. If you need a tarot sidekick with a mind geared towards taking down fools, I’m waiting, Hil.)

Fashion: Tim Gunn of Project Runway makes me misty eyed all the time. He’s so kind and sensitive to the contestants. People like him are my favorite type to read. I just know he’d be a joy to work with. Maybe I’ll make him tear up. (I’m also secretly hoping he will adopt me as a sister and give me a makeover.)

Rapper: It’s gotta be Rick Ross. I like people that come from nothing and find their way in the world, which is why rappers always win my respect. Sitting down with the Teflon Don would be like hanging with the king of all kings. I’d insist he keep the blunts reserved until we’re done working. After advising him with my mad skills, we’d kick back with mojitos and he’d help me with my tarot raps. It could be the start of a beautiful friendship. I’m feeling that, yo.

Muse: When I was a young girl, I thought that Debbie Harry of Blondie was the most beautiful woman in the world. I still think that. She’s had a fascinating life and I can only imagine what sort of wisdom she would bring to my tarot table. Plus, she juuusssttt dropped her latest album: Blondie 4(0)-Ever: Greatest Hits Deluxe Redux / Ghosts of Download [2CD/DVD Combo] Like yesterday, peeps. My prediction: it will be uh-may-zing!

Who would be on your list? Share your dream client list with me on Twitter @thetarotlady

Blessings,

Theresa

Confession: I have more than seven on the list. The ones above are tops, but the ones below are equally compelling people that certainly grab my tarot attention:

Johnny Weir (Honey…..we need to talk.)

JayZ (99 problems and a sis in law is one. Let’s solve that.)

Coco Austin (I know Ice would be skeptical but I might change his mind! Plus, I know you and I would get along like a house afire!)

David Bowie (Why not?)

Gary Busey (OMG yes!)

Barbara Walters (Now that you’re retiring, let’s look at the next chapter.)

Jennifer Lopez (Hard working mamas always get my attention.)

Russell Simmons (I have a tarot deck I’d like to discuss with you. Seriously.)

Vladmir Putin (What are you thinking?)

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (I promise to keep my hands on my tarot table.)

Anthony Bourdain (Oh, the places he’s been. Would love to get a glimpse into his upcoming journeys.)

Andy Warhol (My #1 dead celebrity I’d like to read.)