BFFs! How to start a “Business Friends Forever” club and change the world.

Yale University has its infamously secretive fraternity for rising political leaders and business tycoons, Skull and Bones.

The ancient Spartans had The Krypteia: a rite-of-passage club for boys who were ready to become men.

John F. Kennedy and Babe Ruth were both members of the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic men’s society devoted to brotherhood, social welfare, and community projects.

And of course, there’s the Freemasons — or as my friend Alex calls it, “the magical boy scout club.” Haaa.

Notice a theme here?

All of these powerful societies… are exclusively for men!

Earlier this year, at a dinner date with a girlfriend of mine here in Milwaukee, it dawned on both of us:

Where are the super cool, exclusive, secretive, sexy societies and clubs for women?

Sure, they exist. We’ve noticed a few of ‘em out there. But specifically: where are the clubs for unapologetically ambitious and successful women in business?

That… seems to be sorely lacking.

So we decided to do something about it.

For the past couple of months, my friend and I have been meeting regularly for “top secret business lunches.” Sometimes just the two of us. Sometimes with other women entrepreneurs. We call ourselves the BFFs: Business Friends Forever.

The purpose of each meet-up?

– To joyfully share our big wins and successes without shame.

– To talk about what’s not working and swap advice.

– To share resources, books, blogs, and tools we love.

– To inspire each other to continually set the bar a little higher. (When one woman in the BFF club is CRUSHING it and achieving massive success, it motivates all of us to reach for our full potential, too.)

We’ve been LOVING these BFF meetings and we’ve all realized that we are absolutely starving for more of this kind of interaction. Ambitious women supporting ambitious women — with zero apologies. SO refreshing.

Want to start a BFF club in your hometown? I say: do it!

Here are my tips on how to get things rolling, attract the right people, and get the most value out of every meet-up:

– Set a clear intention.

At the beginning of each meeting, set a clear intention as a group.

You can read a club manifesto to establish a group intention. (Perhaps… inspired by Prince? “Dearly beloved: we are gathered here today to get through this thing called _____”).

Or have each member briefly share their personal intention for the day (“I am here to give ____ and receive _____.”)

Or read a blessing or a quote to establish the main topic of the day.

Or some / none / all of the above.

Just make sure that everyone is tuned in, focused, and operating on the same page. Otherwise, your meet-up is likely to feel scattered and unproductive.

The goal is for everyone to leave the meet-up feeling excited and driven to create even high levels of success… not confused and feeling like a hot mess.

– Create a structure.

There’s nothing worse than wandering into a business meeting where nobody really knows what’s happening or what the point of it is. (“Why are we here again…?”)

Come up with a basic structure for each meet-up.

It doesn’t have to be rigid — just create a loose outline so that everyone understands what’s on the agenda.

At my BFF club, we like to go around the table and take turns answering questions like these, one by one:

– What is going on in your business right now? (New plans? New ideas? What are you excited about?)

– Where are you doing great?

– What are you struggling with?

– What do you need right now?

We try to keep our responses brief (a couple of minutes each) so that everyone has a chance to speak.

When one person is speaking, we make an effort to zip our lips and wait for them to finish before chiming in with ideas. (Not always easy to do in our excitable crew… but it’s good manners!)

– Recruit with discernment.

To have a powerful and productive BFF club, you have got to select the right BFFs.

As the saying goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Choose wisely.

When you are thinking about inviting someone new into the crew, borrow a question from the brilliant Susan Hyatt and ask yourself: “Is this person living a life that I respect and admire?” 

And also: “Is this person doing business in a way that I respect and admire?”

If the answer is “no,” then this gal doesn’t belong in your BFF club. Harsh but true.

“I can promise you that women working together — linked, informed and educated — can bring peace and prosperity to this forsaken planet.” 

—Isabel Allende, bestselling author of The House of the Spirits and City of the Beasts, recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Damn straight.

I love all kinds of humans (men, women, undecided) and I love seeing people of all genders work brilliantly together.

I believe there’s room in our world for kid’s clubs, teen clubs, co-ed clubs, men’s clubs and women’s clubs too.

So, if face-to-face connection with ambitious women is something you crave, I say: set a date, book a table at your favorite restaurant and make it happen! Talk shop. Make plans. Set goals. Change the world. Business Friends Forever!

There’s no telling what you and your BFFs can co-create, together.

And that’s me with my business besties: Alison Monday, Lisa Walker England and Victoria Prozan after a day spent talking about our work over pierogis.

Blessings,

Theresa

My buddy Lisa Walker England also write a killer post on this subject: Friends Don’t Let Friends Do Business Alone.

PS. Speaking of secret societies… The Tarot Brainery — a free mentoring club for emerging Tarot readers who want to take their spiritual businesses to the next level — is beginning soon!

I am so excited to get my paws all over these bright young Tarot minds and teach ‘em everything I’ve learned over the course of my 25-year Tarot career (daaang. That’s a long time!).

The application period for the 2015 Tarot Brainery has closed but if you need guidance for your mystical biz, I offer Biz Mentoring for spiritual entrepreneurs, coaches and healers all year round. LOVE this work. Check out who it’s for & how we can play… right over here.