Baby Got Deck (The Steele Wizard Rap)

I wrote this in an inspired burst after playing with my Steele Wizard Tarot (by Pamela Steele).  Just had to share a little tarot humor with ya’ll.

(Sing this to the tune of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”)

Baby Got Deck (The Steele Wizard Rap)

I like big decks and I cannot lie

You other brothas can’t deny

When you get a deck with itty bitty print

You gotta pull it to yo’ face – You got SQUINT.

Wanna pull a card close cuz you can’t see dat WORD, NOPE.

A big ole deck I’m shufflin’

I’m crunked and I can’t stop stuffin’

Oh baby, I wanna get yo’ deck yeah

And play wid it – heck yeah!

My homegirls tried to warn me

But that deck you made gets me so corny

Ooh, silky smooth gloss

You say you wanna shuffle like a tarot Boss

Well use it, use it

Cuz it ain’t no average deck, choose it

I seen her Arcana

To hell I just wanna

Shuffle it. Shit.

Got it goin’ like a Hierophant.

I’m tired o’ those little decks

Sayin small ones are the thing

Take the average taroist and ask him that

She gotta pack much deck.

So fellas (YEAH), fella’s (YEAH)

So tell ‘em to shuffle (SHUFFLE)

Shuffle (SHUFFLE)

Shuffle dat big deck.

Baby got deck.

 

I like ‘em square and big

An’ when I’m working a tarot gig

I jus’ can’t help myself

I’m acting like a tarot fan

Big ole deck in my itty bitty hands

I wanna get that deck home an’ UH

Shuffle up, uh uh

I ain’t talking about Rummy

Cause card games are fo dummies

I wan’t ‘em real, real, real

So fin dat Pamela Steele

Decks Alot fo real

Beggin’ for an Arcana to feel.

So I’m lookin’ at deck reviews

Watchin’ those tarotists

Talkin’ like terrorists

You can have them views

I’ll keep my deck like Steele Wizard

And gonna shuffle dat deck HARD

A word to that tarot sistas

I wanna get wit ya

I won’t cuss or diss ya

But I gotta be straight

When I say I wanna

Shuffle til the break o’ dawn,

Better get your Steele Wizard ON,

A lot o’ tarot freaks won’t like dis song

Cause them punks like to hit it an’ quit it

And I’d rather stay and play,

Cause my hands are small but strong

I can shuffle all night long

So ladies (YEAH) ladies (YEAH)

Then grab your deck, stick it out

Even nearsighted we gotta shout

Baby got deck!

Baby got deck!

 

Yeah baby.

When it comes to divination

Aecletic ain’t got nuthing to do with my decision

5 and a half by 3 and a half

Extra cards in da back.

 

So yo girlfriend has a Waite

Or a Thoth for to comtemplate

But Crowley ain’t got a make it so complicated

My hands kinda wanna

The Steele Wizard, I’m fonda

You can shuffle up and down

Do a bridge but please don’t benda

Some readers wanna play that hard role

And tell ya that they are in the know

So they toss that deck and let it go

But I grab it and say hell no

So publishers say dat deck is fat

Well I ain’t down wit dat.

Cause that deck is big and da print is phat

I can easily read that.

To the little decks with the too fine art

You ain’t the only cards.

Gimme that Wizard, can’t resist it

Minors and Majors didn’t miss ha

Some knucklehead try to diss

Cuz little cards on his list

He had tarot game but chose to hit it

And I pull that Steele Wizard and flip it

So ladies if yo’ deck is huge

And you can barely shuffle ‘em – shoot

Call Pamela Steele

And kick that wimpy shuffling fo real

Baby got deck

Baby got deck

 

🙂

Theresa

(PS The real review for this deck coming soon…….)

image courtesy of TaoXProductions