Tarot For Meaningful Connections + Relationship Dilemmas

I believe that most everyone wants to feel loved and connected (there are always exceptions as some people truly just “vant to be alone”).

At least I have come to believe that as romance seems to be the numero uno reason people come to me as a tarot reader.

The situations and questions run the gamut from unrequited love, to new paramours to infidelity and more:

Is he the one? Will she come back? Why won’t he commit? When will we get married? Why did he dump me for that skank?

A tarot reading can show possible outcomes and may shed light on feelings but I found it’s actually more effective for finding solutions to relationship dilemmas (I am a results oriented person so no surprise there).

Not every relationship begins or ends in a fairytale. Every relationship carries a risk that you will get hurt (and chances are, you will – even loving long term relationships have battle scars). Opening yourself up and putting your heart and soul into a relationship requires mondo courage.

And while happily ever after isn’t in everyone’s cards, we can use tarot to find the best possible path – even if that path is to walk away.

Let’s take a tarot spin on relationships with a few useful spreads. (Please note: the interpretations are brief so that the post doesn’t become an epic novel. Excuse the brevity.)

New Thang (When you JUST started seeing someone)

You just met a new suitor. And you’re already dreaming of weddings and babies….and you want the cards to tell you what the long term future may be. Whoa! Hold on a minute and let’s take a step back. My advice: if it’s brand new, resist trying to make a broad prediction. That only leads to anxiety or expectations. Instead, BREATHE. Be in the moment. Let that relationship blossom and unfold in it’s own time without trying to pin a prediction on it. Yes, I know you probably don’t want to hear that sage advice but trust me, it’s better to be open to the experience when you are just starting to see someone rather than going in with a plan of attack.

Instead, I recommend looking at the energy present instead of trying to predict the outcome.

A simple three card spread works well in this case. My favorite layout is one I use for a variety of questions (not just love):

Situation

What You Need To Know

Advice

Spread in action: Marie just went on two dates with Pat and she’s really digging his vibe. Her cards:

Situation: The Magician – chemistry!

What You Need to Know: 5 of Swords – uh oh – he’s not telling her everything (but it’s only two dates – don’t panic).

Advice: Ace of Cups – open the door for some heart to heart conversations. Be ready to listen.

In a nutshell: there is some chemistry but he may be guarded – make him comfortable expressing his feelings and get him talking. See where that leads.

Trouble In Paradise Spread (Relationship hit a snag? Try this spread.)

If you are having major issues with your partner, it’s time to look at both sides and see where or how the healing can begin. I prefer to pick a card to represent the “crux of the problem” and then shuffle the deck and pick the rest randomly.

Crux Of The Problem

Partner 1

Partner 2

Advice

Spread in action: Jenny just found out her long time love, Manuel, cheated on her. She still loves him and hopes they can get past this but she doubts it.

Crux Of The Problem: 3 of Swords – I chose this card because it accurately represents the deep hurt and heartbreak of this situation.

Partner 1: for Jenny, Temperance reversed – she‘s having a hard time figuring out how to handle this. The cheating threw her off balance, especially since this has happened to her before in other relationships. She is feeling torn, unable to make a decision. This is creating a sense of paralysis.

Partner 2: for Manuel, The Fool. He does feel like an idiot but he wants to put this baggage behind as quickly as possible and start fresh. He may not understand that Jenny is not quite ready to do that yet as she is still healing.

Advice: The Hermit – time to seek the advice of a wise counselor. In this situation, I would advise them to work with a relationship therapist to get back on track.

Reboot Spread (You’ve been together forreeevvverrr and things are stale. Check this out!)

It happens. The relationship has been great for years. But one day, you realize you’re bored out of your gourd. Although the sight of your partner doesn’t give you the chills any more, you would like to get some of that pizzazz back. I like to look at the past (what moved you before), present (why things are so so) and then check out some advice.

Past

Present Issues

Advice

Spread in action: Donna has been with Bob for over 25 years. They live like roommates and don’t share many interests any longer. She would love to feel some heat again.

Past: Knight of Wands reversed – in the past, the relationship had a bit of an edge (they were bikers so no surprise to see this rebellious card!). They did exciting, daring things and sometimes had a bit of fiery drama. Road trips, adventures, hanging with bad boys – it was a crazy life – but there was never a dull moment.

Present Issues: 4 of Cups – they’ve gotten into a routine. They are no longer as active as they once were. This shows apathy. Same old crud, day in, day out.

Advice: 8 of Wands – perhaps this may be a good time to begin doing some sort of regular “adventure”. Travel, weekend getaways – even road trips on the bike (they still have it but rarely use it). Getting out of the regular schedule and into some new places may help reignite that old spark.

On Again Off Again Solid Again (Tired of going back and forth? Wondering if you can get security? Look here:)

Going back and forth with a partner can be a maddening experience. When it’s good, it’s very good but when it’s bad…..ugh. In my long career of reading tarot, this seems to be a situation that creates the most havoc. Why? It’s that never ending cycle…..that not knowing if it will last.

This simple spread can shed some insight:

When We Are On:

When We Are Off:

How To Find Solid Ground:

Spread in action: Lori has been back and forth with Jesse for six long years. Currently, they are in an “off” period.

When We Are On: 10 of Pentacles – security. When these two come together in harmony, they create a loving atmosphere. They do have children together and the relationship feels “complete” when the whole family is together.

When We Are Off: 6 of Swords – emotional distance. Pulling away. From time to time, these two seem to need space. That creates an energy where one goes away for a while (usually Jesse). While it may be peaceful in some regards, the other person feels left behind.

How To Find Solid Ground: Death reversed – this is a difficult advice card to see. It suggests that Lori may need to do some internal work to see if this is a pattern she can continue – or if she is ready to call it quits once and for all. It may be time for her to come to grips with the fact that the relationship may not evolve into a consistent 10 of Pentacles vibration. Through her inner work, she can make the decision to end it or accept it as is.

“Relationship is an art. The dream that two people create is more difficult to master than one.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

Blessings!

Theresa