The Hit List - Invisible - The Tarot Lady

“I feel so invisible.” she said with a heavy sigh.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Since I’ve turned 50, no one looks at me any more. It’s like I don’t matter. This happens to all women when they age. You’ll see too.” she replied with a rueful smirk. It’s almost as if she was willing this to happen to me so that I could understand how miserable she was. Misery sure does want company but I wasn’t looking to join that pity party.

So I pondered her dire warning for a minute but then tucked it in the back of my head like the memory of the time I got a bit too close to a live gator with a bloody stump for a tail. Somethings are better left in that part of your brain that doesn’t really believe that it could happen.

But then it did.

I turned 50.

One day, shortly after this expected event, I was walking alone in downtown Minneapolis minding my own damn business. It was a perfect day – sunny with a light breeze. I didn’t even need a jacket. Two young women sashayed past me, hot pants over tights, tiny t-shirts, and funky boots. They were arm in arm, giggling over some who-knows-what secret thing and just so darn cute. I couldn’t help by smile as I watched them saunter on.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him.

A leering, icky creep making disgusting comments and following these girls with his eyes. He didn’t bother to even look my way once. Why should he when that sweet eye candy was so watchable? Heck, I was enjoying watching them too sans a twisted agenda.

That’s when it hit me. I was now invisible – just like that bitter woman said I would be.

Interestingly, I didn’t feel upset. Not one bit. Instead, I felt like a ninja in a secret cloaking device, moving past that bad guy without detection. I felt free.

My foray into the middle-ages has not been this dreadful thing I’ve been promised. Instead, I’m thriving.

It’s because I am not looking for validation of my sexiness or youth. Why should I depend on some random dude’s approval? Or anyone’s for that matter?

I’m interested in being respected, not ogled.

In most cases, you can get that respect thing when you’re an elder. People see the gray hair and think “that old broad probably knows something.” (Psst…you actually do. Own that.)

Age brings competence, wisdom, and independence.

It gives you resilience. That drama stuff that used to rock your world? Meh. Been there, not that interesting. Someone doesn’t like you? Trust me, you’ll be too busy worrying about your grandmother biological time clock going off to even give a shit if someone thinks you’re this or that (come on kids…reproduce – I am ready!).

Being a “woman of a certain age” gives you permission to be unapologetically you. You don’t have to please anyone except yourself. That’s power.

So this getting old ‘n gray biz being some sort of horrible thing – I’m not buying it.

I don’t feel invisible.

I feel invincible.

Not too bad for a 51 year old broad.

Other stuff:

Mother Jones does a blistering expose on private prisons. A MUST read.

I love this post from Dreadlock Tarot: 3 Things That Are Helping Your Business Die a Slow Painful Death.

Listen ‘n learn: How to be a better straight ally at Pride events.

How to rock the Pisces Moon during Pride Weekend – Girlboss Woo gives you the tips!

LeanIn.org helps women help women. So good!

Diana R. Chin talks about being a plus-sized tarot reader.

Read this: Memento Mori from Esmé Wang. Her writing always gets to me.

Shenee Howard speaks truth: Don’t quit and become a business coach.

Tarot Avenue talks with me and nine other tarot readers – get our tarot insights!

Why Twisted Sister actually matters. Because you need to know this.

I didn’t know this: Sears used to sell build-your-own house kit!

From Ash Ambirge: I was at Pulse Orlando.

Parallels between Dany and Jon? Could be.

I’m stoked to be leading an Academy called Hack Your World With Tarot at World Domination Summit in Portland this August! Grab tickets for the week (wds.fm/connect) or à la carte (wds.fm/academies). Seats can fill up quickly, so act fast! I hope you’ll join me at this incredible event.

Todd Solondz is my favorite director. No one does black, depressing comedy better!

Siobhan Renee interviews one of my favorite tarot heroes: Sheilaa Hite. I love her!

A guy from Lynryd Skynyrd wrote a book. Yeah, I’ve got nothing else to say about this.

Love your sadness. It won’t last.

Celebrating Pride – 11 people share their stories.

I am LUSTING after this cookbook: Cook Korean! A Comic Book with Recipes by Robin Ha.

Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment. Marianne Williamson always strikes a cord.

This looks interesting: Diana, Herself – An Allegory of Awakening.

I am ridiculously exciting about the preserving ‘n pickling class I’m taking tomorrow. I got this book on Foolproof Preserving to inspire me!

I’ve been hearing lots o’ buzz about the Linestrider Tarot. I may have to check this one out.

Sick of emotionally unavailable men? Check this out from Natalie Lue NML: Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: The Definitive Guide to Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men and the Women that Love Them.

Natalie Lue has a fantastic website you might want to check out too: Baggage Reclaim. I am really digging her work!