Ben Franklin - Thirteen Virtues - Moderation

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile, you may be aware of my Ben Franklin obsession.  Er, I mean side project.

I’ve been trying to live Ben Franklin’s Thirteen Virtues, one virtue per month.  Why? It’s because, like my man B-Franklin, I’m always interested in self-improvement.  By consciously practicing these virtues, I’m trying to up my game and be a better person.  (Ben would practice one virtue a week but it takes time for good habits to sink in over here…which is why I’m doing this at a much slower pace.)

I just finished Month Nine: Moderation.  Here’s what went down:

When I first saw Moderation on the list, I was puzzled.  Wasn’t this the same as Virtue #1, Temperance?

Digging deeper, I discovered there was a difference.  Temperance focuses more on eating and drinking whereas Moderation was about finding a middle ground.

Franklin describes Moderation as this: “Avoiding extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”  In other words: keep your cool, try not to be a jerk, even if you feel wronged.

Crap.

I’m a woman of extremes.  Gemini Sun, Libra rising, Moon in Scorp.  Dudes…I like to love hard, live deep, and my temper is legendary. Middle ground?  Pfft.  BORING. It takes all the yoga in the world to get me to a chill place – and even that doesn’t always do it.

But I am getting older.  I’ve mellowed somewhat.  There are no screwdriver incidents (another story, another time) and my life is on an even keel.

These days, not much happens in my life that brings out that old me.  So last month it seemed like I would breeze through it, check Moderation off my list, and go on about my business.

Except…life doesn’t work out that way. Someone I trusted, a colleague, did something that really hurt my feelings and pretty much destroyed my trust.  Before I flew off the handle and cut this person off completely (my usual M.O.), I sat with it for a bit.  I chose my words carefully and responded…and then let it go.

Well, kind of.  I brooded for a few weeks (my other typical M.O.). Sigh.

While not perfect, this was a much better approach than the way I normally handle betrayal.  I didn’t go off my nut nor did I scorch a bridge. Screwdrivers remained in the toolbox. Instead, I simply put up a boundary and made a mental note never to trust this person again (which is also probably not very moderate but hey, I am human and this is the best I can do at the moment in my not-very-evolved-evolution).

I felt like I barely passed this one. Which made me beat myself up a bit for failing to meet my quest for Ben Franklin excellence.

My expectations for perfection are pretty high – especially when it comes to myself.  I can let others take a pass but when I don’t make the grade? I’m one brutal critic – and that’s not Zen nor moderate at all.  Which means the biggest takeaway from this month was to learn to cut myself some slack in the perfection department.

My middle ground needs to start at ground zero – with myself.  Double sigh.

What I learned:

Before you worry about being an extremist towards others, examine how this shows up in the way you treat yourself.

How I intend to carry this virtue forward into the rest of my life:

I’ll work on reacting less to others but also towards being a bit less reactive to myself.

Moderation & Tarot – your affirmation for the month:

Think before you act, speak, or react. Be fair to all – even yourself.

justice

 

What about you?

Is it time to introduce more Moderation into your life?

What might that look like? Where will you begin?

bigstock-Benjamin-Franklin-hand-on-hip-21364109If you’d like to join me as I continue my journey through Ben Franklin’s Thirteen Virtues, feel free! This month (June) I am tackling Cleanliness. Which means I’m going to get some spring cleaning done around here!  Huzzah!

I hoped you enjoyed the latest backstage peek into my latest side project.

I’ll leave you with this gem from our man B-Franklin:

“Moderation in all things — including moderation.”

Whew! I guess I can ease up even more!  Pass me a donut!  Remember: the same goes to you: you don’t have to be perfect.  Just do your best to stay on an even keel, my friends.

 

purple-allium

Other stuff:

This documentary is on the top of my list: They Call Us Monsters.

Someone put a swing over the Haiku Stairs. The pictures made me dizzy!

The campus rapist gets a slap on the wrist to avoid a “severe impact on him.” Um…what about the victim?

If you’re a spiritual woman, you might just appreciate this. (Psst…it’s silly stuff.)

My cats must love me lots: How cats show love.

The hard truth about getting old.

Wondering what to wear on your wedding day? Amelia Quint helps you figure it out – through astrology.

Willem DaFoe loves his gappy teeth.

When is a woman too old for long hair?  NEVER.

Tarot reader Jayne Braiden kept a killer talking until the cops came.

I loved talking business with Tara Gentile.  Listen in – I’m on episode 34.

If you’re in Portland and you love tarot (or want to learn more) join me for a live workshop in August.  Tickets for the general public go on sale Monday June 6th. (If you’re going to WDS, you can grab your spot now.)

Rolling Stone does a pretty good Game of Thrones recap.

Reality check: why you will marry the wrong person.

This woman nails it: Dear creepy heterosexual men guarding our bathrooms.

Baby powder is linked to ovarian cancer. Never liked that stuff anyways.

Loving Marie Claire’s Ultimate Alcohol Guide.

You don’t need a fancy facial – here are some DIY masks using kitchen ingredients.

Bookmarking this: a foodie tour of New York with a chef.

Anti-choicers are using surveillance tech to send icky ads to women.

I can’t stand Chipotle. This guy is determined to eat it for a year.

Gala Darling dishes on the secret for getting inside your lover’s head.

Need to banish someone?  Check out this post on banishing rituals over at Tommie Kelly’s Adventures in Woo Woo.

Mark Murphy just released Season With Authority: Confident Home Cooking.

I’ve always been curious about Transcendental Meditation.  I want to check this out: Super Mind: How to Boost Performance and Live a Richer and Happier Life Through Transcendental Meditation.

Paula Begoun is releasing an updated version of Don’t Go To The Cosmetics Counter Without Me.  I HIGHLY recommend this book.  It will educate you on how the beauty industry works – which will make you a smarter consumer.  I’ve experienced slimy sales techniques first hand from makeup counter workers who prey on insecurities and use slick lingo about “natural” ingredients.  This book helped me to learn how to walk away without a second thought.

 

What I’m Grateful For:

Contemplation

Ankle wraps

Bright blue pens

A fresh tarot deck

Eyeglasses that stay clean

Grapefruit-thyme hand lotion

 

Soundtrack for 6/4/16: “Romeo” by Chairlift <- so contagious!

Blessings,

Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2016

images from flickr commons, stock photography, personal collection

Sign up for my newsletter and get free bi-monthly content on tarot, astrology, and more.

I respect your email privacy

Pin It on Pinterest