I saw my old friend Dave recently.
He was sitting back in one of those giant bean bag chairs, the ones that cradle your whole body like a soft, cushy marshmallow. His hair was a thick mass of blonde dreadlocks and he looked as handsome as I remembered.
Tall and lean, wearing his typical “Dave outfit”, a white wife beater and low slung jeans, he looked relaxed and happy to see me. An orange cat circled around him, rubbing up against his body, purring. “His name is Maverick.” Dave informed me.
He looked up, his eyes a bit misty as if he was choking back a sob and said to me “I’m working really hard on things.”
That moment seared into my mind, my soul.
And then I woke up.
My friend Dave has been gone almost two years. He died from a drug overdose and I’m still not over it.
I thought I would be. I even planned on doing some things, inspired by him. But I can’t…even. I just can’t.
I’ve written about his addiction before and although cathartic to put pen to paper and try to understand his whole life and death, I haven’t been able to wrap my head around any of it.
I’m still just sad.
I shouldn’t be surprised that he visited me in my dreams. I dream of dead people all the time. They seem to like to hang out in my dream world with me. Plus this is Gemini season – Dave and I both have birthdays coming up. We’re born a day apart.
Yes, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Yet I am surprised by the depth of my grief, the lingering sadness that comes when I think of him. I try not to think about the last time I saw him…that last time was too depressing and was the day I knew he was already gone.
When people pass on, they leave an imprint, sometimes good, sometimes not-so-good, oftentimes complicated. We can preserve the memories and, hopefully, we can choose to preserve the ones that are not too heartbreaking.
But I’m finding that pretty hard as our birthdays approach.
I just miss him too much and wish things would have turned out differently.
But he’s working on things. I’m working on things too. Working on my grief.
Happy birthday, Dave. RIP, buddy.
Other stuff:
If you are struggling with grieving, Refuge In Grief has a 30 day program called Writing Your Grief that you may want to check out. Writing, for me, has been an important tool in healing. It might help you too.
I loved talking about tarot with the good folks at Honeysuckle Magazine.
These four women were accused of a heinous crime – that they didn’t do.
If you’re looking to achieve a major goal, let tarot help you! Specifically the GROW Model Tarot Spread from Tarot Elements – it’s genius!
Great post from Amelia Quint over at The Hoodwitch – Erotic Astrology: Venus Signs.
Dig this: How modern women are reclaiming the occult.
This woman gets it right: we don’t need creepy hetero men patrolling our bathrooms.
Interesting post on the lawsuit against Gawker. Can the wealthy use their muscle to intimidate the media? Sure seems like it.
Worth tuning in: a cool old interview with Rod Serling.
Do infections cause Alzheimer’s? Some scientists are investigating this – and they may be on to something.
A little buzz about the Milwaukee Tarot scene with me and Jen Cintron!
In case you need to know: the history of pho.
I love Samantha Bee! Here she breaks down the GOP’s anti-choice agenda and how it came to be.
Want to start your own Mastermind? Before you do, grab Jen Louden’s Mastermind Starter Kit. It was essential for mine (which has been going along for a few years now!).
An expensive lesson: Lavender Moon talks about all the stuff she wasted money on when trying to figure out her spirituality.
Sad about the latest death on Game of Thrones? You can leave a virtual flower on their graves!
How the genre a musician picks influences their death. This ain’t looking too good for hip hop artists.
It happened to her: a former editor for xoJane writes about the experience.
Calvin Klien’s CK2 is my new favorite fragrance jam. It’s fresh, cool, subtle, and unisex.
Getting ready for my world tour with this fantastic document/passport holder from Flight001 in minty green.
I also nabbed this cool “Seat Pak” which will help me to stay organized on the plane.
Gemma Stone is one amazing human being. You’ll want to get her book: Your Great Life!: A Soulful And Strategic Guide To Designing A Life You Love immediately.
Always looking to up my writing game. Nicely Said is a book I want to check out.
What I’m Grateful For:
Iphones
Extra-fine tweezers
Finally being able to turn off the furnace
Donuts!
Bri Saussy
Soundtrack for 5/28/16: BTSTU by Jai Paul <-so digging this!
Blessings,
Theresa
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2016
images from personal collection
I’m Theresa Reed (aka, The Tarot Lady). I’ve been a full-time tarot reader for 30+ years — which, in my industry, makes me pretty badass.
I’m definitely not your average Tarot expert — I drop the F-bomb, I quote rappers, and I’m obsessed with pop culture + reality TV. Folks come to me for straight-talk + tough-love — without the woo-woo fluff. 
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